My kids dad will not move on

[Rosemary]

Hello everyone it’s been a long time for me ime going thought alot at the moment and I need some advice please my kids dad will not move on he keeps saying he still loves me and he wants to be friends forever . He is giveing me headache my kids are not helping because they want him to come down my house all the time he only found out where I live by looking at something my child was doing he seen my address so know I can’t keep him away it’s getting me down but it Seams my children are more close to there dad than me I don’t understand this and because I have a boyfriend the dad sometimes has a issue with this because my kids are telling him things what I don’t want him to know which is causing the dad to fule up I don’t feel comfortable even telling my kids things know as they tell there dad every I do with my boyfriend. The kids dad keeps saying that he will always love me I told him to move on and stop crying for me and upsetting my kids when he crys . The dad can’t move on this is makeing me feel uncomfortable and anxious. Also the dad was not ment to know where I live but he found out him self . I am happy in love with my boyfriend and I feel that I am doing the wrong things it’s like I am not allowed to be happy because kids dad gets me down by not moveing on with his life and accepting what I want in my life . My kids will not be happy with me if I get a non molestation to leave me alone and to keep away from my place I tell my kids to stop calling him down my home but they don’t listen to me . This is a very different situation and I want to make things better not worse please ladys what should I do in my situation?

[KIP.]

Set boundaries. He has no right to come to where you live. He can set up supervised visitations. He’s going to ruin your new relationship. Once the kids have a routine where they know when they will see him they should settle into that. Definitely get that non molestation order if you can. Especially if there’s been a history of abuse. Absolutely zero direct contact is the only way to move forward and be safe. He’s deliberately upsetting the kids which is child abuse. Get support from your local womens aid and keep yourself safe.

[Rosemary]

Thank you so much kip for your advice I really appreciate it I should not have to live like this the abuse is continuing the dad to my kids seams to think he has changed but he ain’t I told my kids dad to move on and stop saying he loves me because it’s not going to make me go back with him no way his even trying to control me what I can and can’t do with my new boyfriend the dad was asking me questions ans the questions he was asking me I did not want to answer he keep on for ages talking to him . If I get the non molestation order do you think my kids will go mad at me ,? Because all I am doing is protecting me and my kids. When I ran away from the dad my life was better know his back in it things are starting again which I don’t like . I’ve been feeling really emotional lately to .

[Mellow]

This is awful I’ve been in similar what you have to do is report it to police he should not turn up at your address like that even if he has kids that is harassment and he can’t tell you what to do either it can even go to court if ge still does it .he says he loves you cause you have moved in he probably dosent really.(detail removed by Moderator). he can see the kids through a friend family member or mediator you don’t need to be involved.your kids must understand what this is doing to you.they might see you as bad at first but you have to get on with your life

[Rosemary]

Thank you so much mellow I should not have to put up with this your right and my children should understand what this is doing to me I ran away for a reason. Sorry your going thought the same thing it’s just horrible. I’ve told him that my support worker said he should not be coming around to me but his not listening to me .

[Mellow]

Him getting your details is not right at all if he had other means of contact he should of asked. and it is harassing you.he’s not accepting your boundaries tell him if he comes again without consent you will have no choice to get the police involved and if you can get a parent agreement drawn up he can meet you in public or whichever

[Rosemary]

Thank you mellow I’ve told him that he can meet our children somewhere and not to come to my address but my children also are telling him to come down which is not helping at all even my family are saying his trying to win him self back in which I don’t want him to and my support worker said if I get a different house that kids dad can’t come down as it’s especially for women and children who have been thought domestic violence so if my support worker gets me a different place he can’t come and he has to listen other wise my support worker will end up getting the non molestation order her self to keep him away from me .the kids dad is saying (detail removed by Moderator). So my kids dad is trying to tell me who I can and can’t have at my own home I don’t understand him because he knows he can’t control me anymore

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