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Hello ladies I have had the most phenomenal week to add to the memories I have made. I had several job interviews and they ALL offered me the job eventually I had to stop attending because I was getting so confused as to which one to pick! What I deserve is happening to me this is my Karma and I’m so thankful to God what is happening to me. Everything he deserves he will get it’s funny how I could never flourish with him cos he’s evil.
When I used to cry for days on end in despair, wail half way through the night feel completely devastated at how he could treat me I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I only lived for each day and I never thought I would be able to get divorced as he’s so maniplative I thought he would try everything to stop it or even try and divorce me! I knew deep down that I had made the best decision and that it was the only thing I could do if I truly valued myself.
Since then I’ve had to endure a bullying boss, being made redundant twice, contending with my community finding everything out, resettling into my parents home, adjusting and getting used to the idea that my life had been teared upside down. I couldn’t even write nice things about how my boss would describe me in 3 words for my interview prep. I had to build up the confidence to go to interviews building myself up every time I was knocked down with redundancie I had to keep going and look where I have got to.
Today I very nearly divorced I see the end in sight, I took back control by I leaving him and filing for divorce (something he thought we never had the balls to do little does he know). By doing this I have threatened his ‘superior existence’, I have faced his family, I have faced his friends while he’s ran way where no one knows him. I have had to be brave no matter how scared I felt and alone I felt. I have had to endure someone close to me arranging their wedding in front of my eyes and seeing all my dreams being shattered and for them getting everything I ever wanted.
But now I have secured a better position in a better company (they will pay for me qualify in my chosen area and can get me to qualify much quicker as they are a provider of this qualification), this new role is much closer to home than my previous roles, I was wanted by every single company I interviews for and that gives me a sense of achievement and huge boost when I felt worthless with him).
I have nearly paid my debts (incurred whilst with him), my next plan is to pay my car finance off and whilst doing that save up for a deposit on a home of my own! I also will be going on family holiday soon I am also planning a couple of holidays later this year while I have the chance and have rigid holidays next year. I have plans of my own and I am going to stand on my own two feet not my parents or husband supporting me I support myself. I couldn’t afford anything whilst with him and now I feel like such a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
My life has purpose, my new role involves working with a real social group of people so I’ll make new friends and all those years where my career was effected with him will not matter because I now have such an amazing opportunity to thrive. Everything and everyone he tried to take from me is now at the strongest and will keep going from strength to strength. Please ladies keep going do whatever you can to get yourself through the day where I am now and where I was a year ago is phenomenal. You deserve the absolute best these vile creatures are jealous of what we have that they try and do everything they can to break us. Use that as motivation to do everything possible to strengthen and progress everything that matters in your life! I couldn’t have got here without you ladies, the helpline, my support network and the Samaritans. Talk to those around you we are all in this together have a great weekend xxxxx
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I love this post so much, thank you for sharing. These men are threatened by our strength and independence because it makes us harder to control so they try to break us down and make us believe we are weak. You have done brilliantly and should be really proud, and you inspire me to keep going to work towards my goals again now that I’m free of his clutches, thank you. 🙂
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Thank you ladies I love this 😊 If I can give a woman strength then I take so much from that. I’m completely free of him now I can’t say too much without identifying myself but I really do have my freedom now. I went to my place of worship and I thanked God for getting me out of this very bad situation. I have a few more formalities left and that’s it there’s no way he can pull me towards him it’s over! I’ve booked another holiday and I’m also investing in myself as a person. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I realised I’ve moved on from this evil creature a long time ago. I’ve started to live the life that I deserve and I have a 5 year plan which involves me and what’s important to me. I will not be getting into a relationship any time soon I’m going to live everyday like it’s my last.
I feel sooo much happier at work I’m around supportive, caring lovely people who have no idea about my past and that’s the way I intend to keep it! I have life experience now through all these different companies I’ve worked for so it’s given me experience, I have a certain edge to me and I also have grown. I can genuinely say I am happy I wake up in the morning with something to look forward to. I’m not in despair, confusion or any anguish anymore. I have the rest of my life ahead of me and I’ll be vigilant even though he isn’t in my vicinity this is still a dangerous time. I’ve remained no contact for a long time and I’ve chosen to keep it this way because my safety is paramount. He will be absolutely furious that he’s lost, I’ve won and it’s completely over so I feel that by remaining no contact has kept me safer. If I gloated to him how I’ve remember control back he meh seek revenge but now I’m hoping giving him no reaction will mean that he is bored of me and he will have hopefully moved onto his next victim (obviously I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but I want him as far away from me as possible). Cheers to freedom! X*x
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