Viewing 6 reply threads
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    • #125202
      Rosemary
      Participant

      I lived with my abusive aggressive controling partner for years his got worse of the years but what I find strange that his trying to calm down and be nice but at the same time annoying me by abusing me he finds this a joke which gets me down
      When his trying to be kind and calm I feel I cant even accept it why I dont now it’s still comeing across as a negative or just being fauls around me if that makes sense. He nows how his been treating me because he said to me that see he can calm down . I feel my parnter is being faulse around me all I’ve got used to over the years is geting abusive from him being aggressive controlling. I hope ladys on here can understand the way I feel towards my partner when his trying for calm down and be kind I just dont understand it . He is still giveing me mental toucher at times to .he also wants me to laught when he is abusing me I just cant get my head around it why he finds it funny and why he has to do this .he can see I dont like it but he carry on doing it thinking it’s a joke and his trying to make me laught . Every time I tell him it’s not funny I just find this uncomfortable and not right behaviour. I feel my partner behaviour comes across that he also have a split personality.

    • #125206
      Darcy
      Participant

      Hi beautiful Angel, Rosemary,
      Abusive men are good at confusing us so I understand what you are saying, its very common for this to happen.
      This pattern will not change, the only thing you can do is change the way you react and receive it.
      You will never get into the head of an abuser so get into your own head instead.
      Start doing self love work and build up your self worth, keep the focus on you, not him.
      Sending you continued love and support
      Darcy xx

    • #125232
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hello darcy thank you for reaching out to me I really appreciate it I really understand what your saying it’s not nice what men can do to us .

      I feel so depressed about other things that are happening in my life I cant cope with stress I wish I had something positive to make me happy.
      I just dont understand how life treats me .
      Thank you for your love and support x*x

    • #125276
      Darcy
      Participant

      Start looking for the positives my Angel, they are there, even in an abusive situation.
      When I changed my mind set with my ex I could start to appreciate the blessing around me.
      It might be as small as listening to the birds sing, or breathing in some fresh air, or being grateful for a healthy meal and that you have clean water to cleanse your body inside and out. Look up at the amazing full moon that is out tonight… I will be looking up to, so know that you are supported and not alone.
      … start looking for the positives and soon you will see them all around you.
      Life is not against you, you just need to get in flow with it.
      Sending you continued love and support
      D xx

      • #125284
        Ocean
        Participant

        Darcy,
        I love this! What you wrote is beautiful. There are always things to be grateful for. Focusing on the positives is life changing xx

    • #125280
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Hello Darcy

      Your so lovely your comments thank you for positive thoughts my lovely it does really help me I just need to believe in my self and like you said look at even the small things around me that are positive to make smile it’s really hard sometimes I will get there thank you for your help and support it means alot to me

    • #125298
      Darcy
      Participant

      Always supporting you Rosemary… if it helps to get you started why don’t you private message me 3 positive things that happened to you today, or that you saw or experienced… next week do 5 things a day … and so on… believe me you will start to see it everywhere!

    • #125313
      Rosemary
      Participant

      Thank you Darcy so much and letting me now I can private message you I did not now I could do that
      Thank you for being here for me I really appreciate it

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