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    • #14745
      bunsandcakes
      Participant

      This morning my son cried and cried because his Dad was driving him into school. He wanted me. My kids are starting to show that they don’t want to be around dad and that is making him more angry and he thinks I am poisoning them against him.

      This has hit home, HARD. I now just want to secure a job and try and get out. I dont know where to start, I have no income really and no parents nearby to help with childcare as I have one child under school age. His business is based at the home so I would go. I would own half the house though. I really need to talk through my support options with someone as I have no savings to start renting immediately.

    • #14760
      mixed-up mum
      Participant

      Hiya Bunsandcakes – remind me, are you being supported by Women’s Aid?
      If you are they will help and advise you.

      I’m not good at finding out about benefits, but they would know what you would get.

      Would you accept a council house?
      I live in a council house, and a love my little home. A home is not the house – a home is what you make it.

      There are other ladies on here who are much better at telling you what help there is, but I expect that being in an abusive relationship, and fleeing the family home, with young children would help you get a house.
      You would get help with rent and council tax, and what about tax credits, you could try for that too.

      Sorry your son was so upset today, its not nice seeing your kids cry, and want you, and dad won’t ‘allow’ it.

      Kids pick up on way more than we know, and they will know daddy is grumpy, and moody and shouts at them, they will pick up on you being upset, and its things like that which make them not want to be with Daddy.

      My ex acceused me of turning the kids against him too, but mine were big enough and old enough to see themselves what was happening.
      My daughter was especially protective of me and tried to keep me safe, and keep him away from me.

      So sorry got to go to work now.

      Take care.

      x*x

    • #14788
      bunsandcakes
      Participant

      Thank you again for the support you are being so kind. I am going to see my local support branchbon Tuesday. I’d be completely fine with a council house as long as neighbours weren’t vicious. I’m not proud, I just want my kids and I to be safe and happy.

      This evening (detail removed by moderator). He got furious and said ” I’m going to get a lot tougher on you”. And I said don’t shout at me and he said “you will know it when I shout at you”. I’m so miserable and sad and angry. Who tells their partner they are going to get tougher on you?! I don’t know what to do. I currently have minus (amount removed by moderator) in my account!!!! I feel so scared to leave because I don’t have capitol.

      • #14821
        Whathaveidone
        Participant

        I’m so sorry this is happening to you too.

        My partner says similar things and once he started getting aggressive, raising his voice and I raised my voice by the tiniest amount back and he exploded “Don’t you DARE talk to me in that tone”. This was outside in public but fortunately it was the evening and noone was around (actually, unfortunately because had someone been there, they could have reported it and I would’ve had a witness) and I just went silent – out of shock. He then spent the rest of the evening justifying his shouting at me and crticising me about getting angry, showing irritation, provoking him…whatever.

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