- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 8 months ago by
Serenity.
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29th May 2016 at 9:40 pm #18268
betterdays
ParticipantKicked the bathroom door in tonight through aurguing with his brother. But I don’t think it’s helped by going to the pub to see my ex partner last night. I’m so down with them all. I feel like he’s reliving my ex partners shoes x
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29th May 2016 at 10:21 pm #18271
godschild
ParticipantMy Son used to get like that, when he was angry with his Dad, has he seen your ex do things like that, hard to cope with x
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29th May 2016 at 10:37 pm #18274
betterdays
ParticipantHi godschild yes he had gone to the pub last night to him. He were his step dad who used to put him down verbally mentally. He’s not interested in any of my boys as proven as he never asks about them just goes on about us sorting things out. X
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29th May 2016 at 10:59 pm #18277
godschild
ParticipantYour Son may well have felt angry and unable to deal with it and it came out in this way, typical that he just goes on about sorting things out, they think things can be sorted out its their minds that need sorting out and they refuse to see it x
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29th May 2016 at 11:05 pm #18278
betterdays
ParticipantIt is godschild. He saw all that kind of stuff with my ex. Smashing doors in hitting me road rage constantly swore at with sheer agression list goes on. I feel ill thinking of it x
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30th May 2016 at 1:18 pm #18319
Anonymous
InactiveHi Betterdays, If at all possible I would get him some help now if you can. My son is very difficult and he has never seen what your son has but if he did I would imagine he would be a lot worse. Kids have trouble processing things and sometimes it comes out in anger. I would hate for him to become an adult with issues like mine. It can get you down when kids act out so sending you supporting hugs. x*x
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30th May 2016 at 2:49 pm #18321
Serenity
ParticipantHi Betterdays,
My eldest kicked doors and my youngest turned over an entire room at one point after my ex left.
I think it was a mixture of grief, anger, sadness, worry, anxiety… I have boys and it’s the way they naturally go to deal with emotions. It’s a release. Thank goodness they did this and not take it out on you physically.
I think boys find it harder to express their emotions. In the parenting course I used to teach, it said to try to not be too intrusive, but every so often try to get them to open up and name how they feel, and help them think of ways they can get rid of those negative feelings. For boys, I think physical exercise is an outlet. I think ( however painful ) allowing them to talk to you about run-ins with your ex will help them, as I am sure he does things to upset them, and it’s impotent we keep the lines of communication open between us and the kids.
I try to act as relaxed as possible when they return from seeing my evil ex, so that they feel they can share anything worrying, and often they do. They ask me for my take on things, and I can often correct my ex’s warped view of things!
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