Hello and welcome to the forum, that must be incredibly hard for you with your son living with him.
I am also in the 50’s club, I separated after 3 attempts from my soon to be ex husband, our daughter blocked him from her life but our son is very confused still. My confidence also hit the floor, there was nothing much left of Me and then but I am getting some days where I feel much better now.
Is there anyone you can talk to for support? ❤