This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  [email protected] 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #113651
     freedomfries01 
    Participant

    My child is still in primary school and is displaying really abusive behaviour towards me. It spilled over a little bit in school and it was just the female teachers that were getting it. I get hit and threatened and talking about me and to me is absolutely relentless. The child mh service has eventually organised a meeting with all the professionals but I’m so worried. Their dad is going to find out everything and I don’t know what to do when he starts saying I’m lying. The mh woman says it’s because of D.C./da that they’ve witnessed but they don’t remember me and the dad being together. They’ve seen the dad grabbing and shoving and I really can’t believe how much they’ve been affected by it.
    I had to ring the dad to get them one day because I couldn’t cope and he’s the only person who could come. I’m at the top end of what I can take. I feel like I’m back with an abusive partner but then I feel terrible because this is my baby I’m talking about. I need support because I’ve got nobody and my poor child is tormented as well but they can’t keep doing this to me. It’s all my fault but I can’t deal with it. I’m worried about their reactions and I’ve started moderating my behaviour to try to counteract their’s before anything happens. It’s a hard pill to swallow

  • #113710
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    Yes it is 💕my eldest was the same and I’ve read quite abit around this subject. Kids learn by example especially from the main role models mum and dad. This often isn’t discussed but it’s very common for kids who witness domestic abuse to see this behaviour as it’s ok to lash out at your mum or any other person. My daughter stepped straight into her dads shoes when he left. I couldn’t believe it and still feel quite helpless. Your child is quite young remember your not at fault she has learned this from him. This is where I need to be so strong when your probably feeling quite weak. Be assertive with her discipline her when she acts out by taking her things away that she likes don’t smack her or put her in another room/ lead by example. She will kick off so you might have to restrain her but inevitably once the tantrum settles she might cry 😭 or maybe even tell you how she feels. Letting theses emotions out is healing and your showing her there are different ways to deal with frustration/ they learn that if they use force they get what they want. There dad teaches them this. If you show her how to communicate in Better ways when u discipline her it will sink in. She will be able to talk to you and be able to let her feelings out which is healthy. It’s doable at this age but you’ll have to be persistent and keep going for quite some time till u see results xx a therapist would be a good help idea

  • #113734
     freedomfries01 
    Participant

    My ex knows that this is happening and I feel sick. The school keeps saying I know your side but there’s more than one side and I understand that but I feel so worried that their dad knows that I can’t cope. I feel devastated and I’ve started feeling the fear of my ex knowing and what he’ll say. It’s not about us it’s about the kid’s but I feel sick and worried and really do not know what to do. Thanks [email protected] I feel like I’m nothing. People keep saying my child adores me but it feels like Hatred and I’m not dealing eith the behaviour at all

  • #113775
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    It’s not true your not nothing your a mum watching your child suffering. You need help with this. Have you called WA they run group work for kids xx I did this and I slowly taught my youngest what abuse is how to recognise it and know never to behave this way xx she was very angry at times too xx try to change your mind set your are both worth a lot and you can sort this out xx we all have worth remember each and everyone of us 💕

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