Nearly caved again

[Eve1]

I’ve had the kind of morning that gave me the almost undeniable urge to contact this man I’ve ended contact with. For years I’ve been able to express myself freely and spontaneously to him, especially about stuff that gets me down. This temp job I’m doing now is definitely not for me so I’m back to the drawing board, but i just felt a moment of panic and isolation earlier and felt desperate for someone in my corner. So I’m on here instead of humiliating myself and giving him power again.

It’s so hard. But thank you ladies.

Huge hugs
Eve
X*x

[Healthyarchive]

Dear Eve, I had that too recently, I think I was laying in bed & i remembered really clearly & vividly him laying next to me, I did not contact him, only thought of that nice time. Also I know if you are a bit down or had a bad day it is a natural reaction to want to share with a loved one, but they weren’t loved ones,they caused us damage and pain.x*x❤

[Serenity]

My ex had an uncanny knack of- when he was being ‘nice’-getting me to bear my soul. At times like that, I think I hoped that we could be soul mates.

Now I realise he was listening intently, to get ammunition.

Bear your soul to someone you can trust. Not him. He is the enemy. X

[Healthyarchive]

Serenity, ditto! !!😠😠😠😈😰😈

[Eve1]

Thank you. You’re both right.

It’s tiredness and stress trigger those moments.

Love to all

Eve
x*x

[Booboobeedoo]

I bared my soul about my biggest fear of my dad having a heart attack and he used that against me saying he’d punch him one step closer to it. These people can be very convincing and there are so many moments I and I’m sure you all, miss….but the truth is there is no way someone can love you truly and hurt you in that way. The way I rationalise it is…. Would I ever do that to him? Never, I could not hurt a stranger like that. So stay strong lovely xxxxxx

[Healthyarchive]

You are right Booboo, I would never deceive, manipulate, coerce or control somebody that I loved, or even somebody that I hated or a stranger. It sick and wrong. I try to think of inner insecurities and venting to make yourself feel better, If i’m not happy or struggling with something I normally comfort eat and spend excessive time on the internet. But these things are not in the same category as deliberately targeting somebody, pretending you have their best interests at heart, finding our their weaknessness and then building an action plan to destroy them. Its all so deep, dark and abnormal. The abusers need to find other ways of releasing their anger and raising their self worth. I pity my ex, he does not have the truly content life that I do.

[Author]

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