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    • #145804
      Headspin
      Participant

      I’ve been talking to a man for a few (detail removed by Moderator) now on line. He is who he says he is, I have done my research on him and he’s kosher. The messages were becoming more and more intense and he was saying the nicest things to me, words that I’ve never had from my abusive husband. I’m ashamed to say that I know this man is married and I became totally fixated on him, checking my emails regularly to see if he had sent a message. I didn’t chase him, because I didn’t want to appear needy. In fact I’ve been unable to concentrate on anything properly, just keep fantasizing about him and totally fixated on him. In my head, I’m living with him, we’re happy and my life is rosy. I know this to be madness, the more I speak to him, the more I resent my husband, the lack of intimacy and no sex life. The man said (detail removed by Moderator) I sent him an angry message telling him to leave me alone. Then regretted it and apologised, we’ve now decided to leave the messages to just (detail removed by Moderator). We’re meeting when I have to go to (detail removed by Moderator) for a pre arranged trip. Part of me was delighted to be speaking to someone that my husband knew nothing about it and it was payback, part of me is ashamed because he’s married, part of me wants him badly, the rest of me is totally devastated and I just don’t know how to handle it. If you’ve read this far thank you.

    • #145831
      Put the kettle on
      Participant

      I can understand that you are enjoying the time and attention from this man when you are struggling so much with your own situation, I wouldn’t encourage it though. If the married man is talking to you behind his wifes back what’s to say he won’t do the same to you if you got into a relationship? Many of these men take advantage of our vulnerability and many don’t leave their wives, they want their cake and to eat it. You deserve better than to be someone’s bit on the side. I would suggest you end things as hard as it is and focus on you

    • #145833
      beachhut
      Participant

      Oh dear Headspin, I hate to say this but there should be enormous RED flags flying here for you to see. You say you have checked him out and he is what he says he is, are you sure, I could describe myself to you and make up an identity and be anything I wish, I worry that you are being sucked in by someone who is saying just what you want to hear, and he is married, has he told you that his wife does not understand and that he is going to leave her. Just be very careful, we all love the idea of a happy ever after, and the feeling of being wanted but you say yourself you are getting fixated on him and making up future together, please step away for a while and think this through you could be setting yourself up for a fall. I do hope I have not gone to far with my comments and offended you. Take care.

    • #145847
      Hazydayz
      Participant

      🤝 Hope your having a better day? feeling stronger today💞

    • #145873
      Headspin
      Participant

      Thank you all, just needed to get things into perspective, I think post abuse it’s so hard to know what’s being said is true and what isn’t. We have decided to stop contact for a while, get my head together. I can’t be in a situation where I’m fretting about whether or not he’s contacted me.

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