Need advice please

[Hellohellohello111]

Hi me and my ex partner are still living together as we have a joint tenancy. We are currently going through court proceedings with social services which started in (detail removed by moderator). My ex is an alcholic and I finally told him (detail removed by moderator) ago I do not want to be with him. When I met my partner he had a tenancy and he made it a joint tenancy (so he had the property before me) he has been saying to me that I should leave as he was here first Howe I have tried leaving him so many times for the past (detail removed by moderator) and I was stupid to keep going back to him as each time he promised he would change. I have applied for an occupation order to have him removed from the tenancy through the court. Do you think this is the right thing to do? The court application has already been filed and I have already paid costs towards my legal fees. Do you think this is the best thing to do or should I have left?? He does not work and I pay all the Bill’s etc.

[Hellohellohello111]

I also feel guilty for kicking him out. I also feel guilty as my children are currently in foster care and it is all my fault for putting up with him for so long and not recognising the signs

[Wants To Help]

Hi,

I have read all of your recent posts. Please do not feel guilty that you are taking the initiative to kick this man out. You should be proud that you are taking positive steps to get this man out of your life and are taking the control back. From what I have read then this is absolutely an abusive relationship with financial abuse and sexual abuse forming a part of the Coercive and Controlling Behaviour.

An abuser will do his absolute best to discredit you and turn friends, family, neighbours etc against you, causing you to be ‘isolated’ from the world and feeling that he is your only support network, so he is both terrorist and saviour at the same time. If your children are in care due to the nature of this relationship, then once you are free from him and have got yourself re-established then I’m sure there will be a route ahead for them to be able to return to live with you.

By applying for the Occupation Order you are doing what is best for you. This is your home, so why should he have the right to stay in it when he abuses you and doesn’t contribute financially? I hope the Order is successful for you, but if it isn’t, you then have the option to leave. Please do not lose hope and heart if the Order is not granted, do not believe that you haven’t been believed and that the abuse isn’t happening. Do not remain with this man. Pursue the path you have started and follow your dreams for a life free of abuse and to be reunited with your children. I wish you the very best.

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