This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Flopsy 6 days, 5 hours ago.

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  • #111217
     Emily1234 
    Participant

    I left my abuser few days ago, after (removed by moderator) started to email and text me. He want us back immediately, he promised everything of course but I feel its just liar. But it makes me unclear and nervous, I feel his controlling behaviour behind his words. Do you ever experience it? How should I react, behave? I told hi I need peace and time to think, but nothing.
    Thank you for advice

  • #111218
     YellowBird 
    Participant

    Hi Emily1234, I am also a few days after separating from my abuser. I’m not getting that behaviour – more of a stony silence, actually – but I know how very very hard these first few days are for me, and I’m sure also for you. Getting out of an abusive situation, only for it to replaced by another kind of stress and also pressure to return is tough.
    Read in this forum about other women who were in the same situation and went back. I think almost all of them regretted it.
    Sending you love and strength 💟

  • #111222
     Emily1234 
    Participant

    He doesn’t want to understand why I want to leave him. How should I react? He always calling me, begging me, he makes me confused when we speak but when I’m alone it clear I want to keep the distance. Should I write it down for him? When it will be stopped..

  • #111227
     Flopsy 
    Participant

    It sounds to me like he’s playing mind games, making you doubt yourself and your experiences. He’s trying to hoover you back in.
    I recommend going no contact. If you absolutely must have contact, maybe due to children, then I recommend using the ‘grey rock method’. Google will explain it better then I can, but you only speak to him when necessary, only facts, no emotion, no leading conversation, so you become boring to him, like a ‘rock’ and they back off.
    From experience though, he will try anything to get a reaction from you, to get into your head, but don’t fall for it. You are strong, you can do this x

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