Need moral support

[godschild]

Hi, Ive not posted on here for a long time, just been trying to cope in my situation, I regulally read others posts,but felt like a fish out of water as some of you know I struggle with agoraphobia and monophobia so can’t leave.

Things have been up and down and he is changeable sometimes nicer sometimes horrible but nothing as bad as it was when I first came on here.

Today he has been awful the worst he has been in a long time and Im feeling pretty broken so need to share to others who know how vile these men can be and unjust.

I had a fall (detail removed by Moderator) cut my knee and it was badly bruised the bruising is horrendous now, spread black and blue from the knee to my foot.

I went to A and E one night in the week and with my agoraphobia it was awful asked the receptionist if i could be seen quicker as I receive disability allowance took my proof of that she was kind told the Dr on duty and he did not care one bit, I had to wait for over 3 hours to be seen,he said he was not made aware of my agoraphobia which was a blatent lie the receptionist went 3 times to tell him how much i was struggling,he then said we do not let you in any quicker JUST for that condition,I have made a complaint about him.

(detail removed by Moderator) i think I got delayed shock to the fall, i was in tears sobbing ,as ever my husband ignored me, told me to get myself together and that people are worse off than me.

I also injurd my index finger and cannot prepare food etc, My husband has got incresingly negelectful of my needs over the past (detail removed by Moderator) days, he also has shouted and bullied me in his attitude because im feeling quite stunned and unable to think straight from the fall.

Today i was in tears and told him i feel in pieces, he ranted used the f word over and over, started to pull everything out of the fridge and cook random things whilst ranting and yelling things all I needed was something to eat, i tried to open some (detail removed by Moderator) it was full of water that went everywhere, I was sobbing and he ranted at me that im useless cant do anything for myself,told me to get out the way and i did not move so he told me that was abuse, (detail removed by Moderator) he yelled at me that he hated me, said he hoped I broke my back, all this time i was sobbing, his cruelty is shocking again.

He yelled at me that I carried on after the accident so why am I like this now, yelling on and on he said ive just give up, ive not got up toady the first day as he has been pushing me down and down and I feek bad enough from the fall but he has just made me want to give up,he is so nasty and cruel always has been if ive been ill or injured.

Ive been holding my own with him for some time, dont put up with half of what I did,and see through him like glass and all of his motives and behavours but he really has got me down today, just need to share and get some validation on what he has done,he is forever telling me i imagine things and make things up and today because I did not move out of his was he says im being abusive when all the time he is yelling at me and swearing at me and insuting me.
Love to all ladies suffering (detail removed by Moderator)

[Serenity]

Hi Godschild,

I thought about you the other day, and wondered how you were, as you’d not posted for a while.

These abusers are even more hideous when we are ill or in need. They resent being asked to do things for other people, are furious that it’s not all about them, and love to be cruel.

Well done you for having the spirit to complain about the doctor. Despite going through a very difficult experience with your agoraphobia, you managed to fight for your rights.

This is what you must do at home. If he is not going to give you the care and attention you deserve, then at least you must show yourself great care and compassion. It sounds like you had a nasty fall, and I wonder if you need to be looked at again? Make sure you rest as much as possible and – hard though it is- try to distance yourself from his vile behaviour as much as possible. Hard when you’re living with them. Is anyone able to come over and give you some help with things, or just to have a comforting chat with you? Having someone normal around who treats you with the normal concern could lift your spirits.

Your partner is proving how nasty a character he really is. Totally selfish and incapable of giving.

Big hugs x

[godschild]

Hi Serenity, Thankyou for that,hideous is a perfect word for his behavoir,I dont have anyone to come over but I called the Samaritans this afternoon and spoke to a really nice kind lady who seemed to know about abuse and she showed compassion to what has happened to me. Bless you for your kind understanding words, it means a lot x*x

[lover of no contact]

Aw godschild,

That is awful behaviour you have had to endure from him. So glad you reached out for support. I agree with serenity, practice lots of self-care and be so gentle with yourself and gather as many other supports around you. Keep reading the posts and posting over the next few days. They really kick us when we are down. So true. They are so cruel. So toxic.

At least you can see him for what he is. So hard living with them. I know it seems impossible to leave him with your health issues but maybe a chat with Women’s Aid may help you see other options because as you say, these men are the pits and impossible to live with.

[godschild]

Thankyou LONC, just knowing ladies out there care and understand has already made me feel a bit stronger, my emotions are weak at the moment due to the fall and his nastiness, its a while since he got me this low

[Nova]

Godschild…sending you a big hug! Sorry to hear your going thro it with the clattering around you…no wonder you have agoraphobia …and in pain…I feel for you Hun…get as much distance from him as poss..give yourself some respite! I used to snooze on the sofa and get a seperating blanket some ear plugs! so I didn’t have him disturbing my rest!

Take it easy & rest up 🌺 We are here listening 🌼
Cx

[godschild]

Thankyou cuppa I know deep down his behavoir is pathetic but im low and he is really being cruel,its really pathetic and the word Serenity used hiddeous fits it totally but its hard not to let the crulty affect you
at times.

He has now mocked me being in shock from the fall and i was crying ealier, but my young Grandaughters were calling,me,I did not feel able to speak to hem but did not at to worry them as they saw my fall so got myself together for them I know I didnt sound myself but he eaves dropped and said there is nothing wrong with me if I can talk to them, he is so so selfish he would not cover up to them or make any effort,he has switched his phone off today yet gets at me for trying hard to talk to them, if I had not talked to them I would have been selfish in his eyes.

Then he said you did not protect them when you fell, I pulled myself together for them when in real shock so as not to frighten them, he talks such utter untrue rubbish so why does it get to me.
Thankyou again

[Ayanna]

So sorry Godschild.
I think you need to be seen by a doctor again.
It makes me so sad that this man is so awful to you and you cannot get away.
Sending you big hugs!

[godschild]

Hi Ayanna, thankyou, the Dr at A and E said 6 weeks for my leg to heal, thankyou for your support x

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