Need some advice

[Benson]

I am now living in a new area. I have my good days and low days where I feel alone. I am enjoying my freedom and now have the opportunity to start living again. I know that one day I could be found, but for now I am enjoying the little things like going to the park with my child without being followed and nearly being run over! As I have previously posted there is going to be a marac very soon. I have started a new job and have enjoyed almost being normal and no one knowing about my past, I can just be me. Now I am worried that because of the marac and SS being there, this may alert my employer, or may not- but it has done in my previous job. So question I have is, do I speak to my new boss and tell them about why have moved or do I just wAit and see what happens?

[KIP.]

I can only say if it was me and I had a good relationship with my new employer I would tell them for my own safety too. To be alert to strangers enquiring about you etc. You don’t have to go into detail. If there is a Human Resources department it might be worth letting them know. Take time to gauge how you think they will react.

[Benson]

Thanks KIP,I have only be there a very short time and don’t really know anyone, and certainly not the boss. But you are right as information about employees are posted online, it maybe worth having that conversation, in case he rings to enquire about me- especially as he did this on numerous occasions in my previous job. I just don’t know even how to begin the conversation, it’s quite an embarrassing one to have when you have only just started.

[shine bright 2]

Hi Benson.
Completely understand how you feel. I had to tell my employer after police came into my work. It was not what I had wanted to do, but actually I found to my surprise that my boss.was incredibly supportive and I ended up.being kind of glad that I had said.
I’m. Not sure why why MARAC or children’s services mean that you have to tell them? It would only be there concern if you are working kids wouldn’t it.
For me it actually made me feel safe. There was.no way they were going to let him into my work once they knew and people also offered me lifts and things if I was there late.
I told by boss quite a lot, but you don’t have to. You could keep it simple and say that you ended a relationship ship and he didn’t really accept it or something like that.

I get journey point about wanting to be normal…u want that all the time, but telling someone doesn’t have to mean that it defines you.

[fridges]

Hello, Banson,
For me would be worrying if the company where you work, will publish information about you. They look in internet about you. I would not like to be there. I feel internet is a high risk. Internet gives the link to your life, where are you and what are you doing and so on. I do not know how much you can share it with the boss that you feel comfortable with, do only what you think is right amount for you. Here you need to make a provision how to protect yourself from further attempts of any contact.
Whatever was done to you, does not define who you are, neither makes you worse than others.Every woman is precious, every woman deserves to be safe and stable.

[Benson]

Thanks for all your advice, I am going to pluck up courage to speak to my boss, I think this will help to keep me safe- only hope they don’t judge. Shine bright, (Detail removed by moderator), that’s why I am really concerned, especially as it’s a new employer.

I think he has found out I have gone and is possibly extremely angry that he has lost control as suddenly I am receiving phone calls from withheld number, no one is saying anything on the other end, but I received (Detail removed by moderator) through the night last night and another this evening. It has really unnerved me as I know now he is going to be looking for me. I don’t want it to scare me as I am really enjoying being free and living an almost normal life with my child. I just wish he would give up- don’t know how he has got my number again.

[Chickadee]

I understand your desire to be free from it, to place it behind you, and to move forward in a normal life.

Your boss is going to be informed of this either way. It would be best that it is heard first from you. Not only does that show him that you are being upfront, but it also demonstrates communication, comfort, respect, and courtesy. It is better he/she hears it from you then to conjecture something as well and you do not have to go into any detail. Something as simplistic as, your going to be receiving this paperwork or be hearing from so snd so with …., because I was in a situation previously and it is necessary, will suffice. From a business liability standpoint you may be asked to what level it escalated, keep it simple, but honest. II think it would be in your best interest and the right thing to do, to go to your boss before he/she is notified by a third party and that you will feel better after you do.

[Author]

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