Need to express my feelings and be validated

[godschild]

This morning, I has someone coming to my home as I cant get to GP surgery in daylight due to my agoraphobia so I pay to have a procedure done (detail removed by Moderator) at home I was anxious about it and went to get my breakfast before they came he had used the sieve yesterday and put it away dirty , I needed it to wash some fruit, so I asked him to sort it as I was under time pressure. He will never ever hold his hands up and take responsibility he tries to shift the blame on me by saying why don’t I wash the whole carton of fruit in one go ! then he said I was upset because I had someone coming, He always ! tries to shift the reason for my upset on to something else, anyone experienced this I know they often blame us but this is blaming it in on something else. Other time he would have flaty said that the sieve wasn’t even dirty he will deny things that stare him in the face, that are evidant or fix it then say itsnot dirty look.
Then I had three loads of washing sorted to put in,he wasnt happy as he wanted to put his in, He said that I wouldnt let him do his just beacause they are his, how childish, then over the seive episode and the washing he said its evident it suit you if I were dead !!!, how utterley nonsensical can they get !!!!!!!

[Serenity]

He was trying to get you upset before your appointment.

He couldn’t bear that the appointment was about you, not him, and that he wasn’t the focus of attention.

My abuser used to try to wreck my appointments and my projects.

Sad people xx

[Starmoon]

I Agree with serenity. Most definitely it was because the attention was going to be on you.
Then they make us feel oh so guilty for being Anxious or worried.
Everyone gets stressy when in a rush or worried over something. And in true abuser style he then starts making it about him saying your behavior or actions are wrong towards him.
I hope what ever it was today, that you managed to de stress before hand and it went ok x

[Serenity]

My abuser used to get angry at me for showing any anxiety, tiredness or anything like that.

It would make him furious!

I was meant to just be a robot, ever attentive and with no needs of my own.

Good riddance! 🌻

[Starmoon]

Ooh what you said about his eyes turning dark… I’ve never mentioned this to anyone but my exs did the same… His eyes physically looked different. Sounds so ridiculous really but on the occasions when things were really bad- they really looked evil. I remember on my birthday as we stood outside- why do his eyes look like that again. Why does he look so evil.
They really have no time for anything that isn’t about them.
I’m glad your appointment went well

[godschild]

Thankyou both,Serenity mine does too and if ive been ill. Yes Starmoon the eyes look totally evil, like a darkness comes over them, ive seen it for years and years, I also see his eyes darting sideways at me so often as well, they must have come out of the same mould !

[Starmoon]

It truly sounds like they did. The thought of his evil eyes is something that’s been in the back of my head for a while… I’ve thought its truly like Jekyll and Hyde… Their physical appearance actually changes.

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