Need to rant

[White Rose]

Rubbish day which really dragged me down.
Talked to a friend going through a difficult divorce and it brought it all back as she was asking how we’d sorted money side which reminded me how much I’d had to compromise on. Then
came home to an email from a tour company we used a nunber of times letting me know final details of our holiday. I wish! It’s with his new woman! Sounds fab – I hope they have a really awful holiday and it rains every day. I sent a very curt email back to company asking them to reply to him only heaven knows why they copied me in in the first place.
Then I came across a series of emails he’d sent months ago and I’d saved as evdence. Stupid me I looked at them and I was right back there feeling scared and sick and worthless.
Aarghh he’s got a lot to answer for in terms of my mood tonight. Why now when I was getting on ok? Vile evil man and awful memories rekindled.

[Serenity]

Hi White Rose, these things are all triggers.

Your ex hasn’t suddenly become a nice person. He can take his new woman to the ends of the earth, but he’ll be carrying himself with him, and we all know that these abusers can only pretend to be nice for a short while. That poor woman is heading for a lot of pain and manipulation.

I hope you manage to carve out a weekend where you can do things to counteract all this. Do something relaxing, read something positive and inspiring, plan your own little trip somewhere.

Anything he can do, you can do better.

[White Rose]

Thanks Serenity
I think it was a bit of the green eyed monster in me seeing the holiday details and perhaps not countering that with the fact this poor woman has to share it with him! She’s not the first since I left.
He can’t be alone he needs a woman or maybe it’s what a woman can do for him – cook, laundry woman, gardener, cleaner and bed mate so when they’re exhausted after being his slave all day they become his night time slave.
I’m better off with him out of my life and my flashbacks and triggers are more manageable
I needed to post as no one else really understands.
Take care x*x

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