- This topic has 82 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 hours, 58 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
I am seriously wondering if Karma is involved. Quite a while back whilst in a job I was terribly terribly stressed about how things where playing out . Managers where expecting alot from employees but some took no notice and got away with stuff. I was very stressed and complained alot , got upset alot and shouted a bit at home about it . I didn’t know how to deal with it . Now a while after someone else is stressed and they are shouting and in bad moods regularly. Is this just life and not what I think it is . I needed to get this off my chest.
-
-
-
Hi Stargazing1,
We absolutely do know their true colours; they are like 2 different people. They wear a mask in public, which is the same mask they wore when they first met you.
But the majority of the time, the mask is only removed behind closed doors.I’m not convinced they can change either, I’ve had it for so many years now, I find it hard to believe my OH will ever be any different. But I do find it so hard trying to make that break from him.
They have a sense of entitlement and expect intimacy when they want it. In actual fact, its the last thing you want when they treat you the way they do.
When he is nice, its all to suck you back in again; all part of their cycle. Look up bread crumbing – its just a part of their manipulation tactics.
Speaking to you like that is never ok and you are absolutely entitled to your opinion! They do expect you to just sit and listen to them, you are only allowed to agree with them, but disagreeing with them is forbidden!
Being in a toxic environment at home where it is supposed to be a safe space, will affect how you cope in other areas of life. Even the smallest things can seem like the worst thing in the world.
It is not your fault, you do not control how he acts. Please don’t beat yourself up!
He has no right to belittle, mock, be disrespectful towards you – and you have every right to get away from the toxicity.
Sending you a big hug x
-
Thank you so much @Lightning-Jet , I really appreciate your kindness, time and support ❤️. I am always grateful for anybodies support it means a great Deal. I will look up Bread crumbling . Sending a gentle hug back . Please take care of yourself and keep safe. Sending kind blessings your way . Your reply really means a great deal.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
I do want a chat with the person at Womens aid but I feel shaky and nervous. I know they are there to support and this time I don’t feel like I’m betraying him . I just feel very nervous. He’s not been shouting recently but there has been stuff said which hopefully I can talk about today . Hopefully some clarity will come about so I’m less confused.
-
-
-
Your feelings are very normal. Talking to someone who is employed to look after survivors of abuse is a bit like taking the first real step to accepting that you are actually suffering abuse and that is a massive thing to take on board. Deep down, you know what’s going on but the idea of having an expert confirm it can feel quite confronting.
All I can say is that I felt the same before I first spoke to a professional but after that conversation I just felt a huge sense relief.
It sounds as though your partner may be gas lighting you. I would recommend that you get a discreet digital voice recorder. It really opened my eyes to be able to play back conversations and hear him say things that he later denied saying and to hear how he twisted and turned the narrative to confuse me.
I hope your conversation with WA is helpful. They are your advocates and they will understand exactly what’s going on. xx
-
Thank you so much for your kindness @Eggshells. I really appreciate your support. I did manage to speak with someone but understand because I couldn’t go through with it last time I have got to start from the beginning again. I just didn’t have the strength to go through with it last time but now I feel i can speak about it . Apparently it is abuse . I’m just so blinkered part of me sees it and maybe the other part either doesn’t see it or just doesn’t want to believe it . I’ve sent another money to the local womens aid and I now await a response. I have apologised too them I just hope I haven’t messed everything up for myself. Thanks again. Please take care of yourself. Sending kind blessings your way.
-
-
Thank you again @Eggshells 💓, your support is really appreciated. This time I will make sure I talk about it all . Sending once again kind blessings. Take care of yourself too please.
-
-
Your very welcome @Eggshells . So happy for you. So glad you got out . That takes a great deal of strength to do that . Good for you 👍. I’m so glad life is so much simpler for you . I hope to aim for the same eventually. I’m so very happy for you . 💓. All the best with everything. Nice one 👍. Thank you 😊.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
