Needing self care

[Anonymous]

As you guys know, I’ve been free for a few months.

When I was in my 20s, I was bulimic. I eventually got help with that, but it went on for at least ten years. My ex knew that, so vile comments about my weight were one of the things he used to break my spirit.

Since we moved here away from my friends and family, I’ve gained over 2 stone and I feel like my weight is continuing to creep up. Food is my drug, what I use to medicate and comfort myself. I can’t seem to get on track with eating normally. I’m always hungry. I’m probably trying to eat my emotions. I haven’t had counselling. I work full time and live very rurally. I just don’t know where I’d find the time. But I need to start doing some things for me. Where do I even start?

[fizzylem]

Hey Landy, that has really angered me, there is no level these men will not stoop to, that is disgusting. So glad you left and can see it for what it was now but can see how this would have been so dreadful to have thrown at you at the time.

I’ve just started to make enquires about telephone counselling; dont think it will be as helpful as face to face but imagine it will be helpful in many ways – is different – better than nothing – will meet some needs. Might be an option. Or are you aware that alot of employers offer EAP? Employee Assistance Programs? Where they pay for some sessions and you can go in work time – it’s still all kept completely private, all you need to do is ask if you can have access to it via a manager usually and that’s it x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Landy,💞💞nice to see you again. Yeah the weight thing… guess it won’t even out until you are really ready fir it. A lot of our eating problems are just habits built up over time. The secret is being organized I suppose. I forced myself to go to my slimming class while I was still with him,forced myself to be amongst people, when all I wanted to do was hide away. I stayed roughly the same weight,losing the same 3-4lbs over and over. I confided in my consultant, she even said to just come to group but not get weighed😊. Since I’ve left I’ve done it, I got to my target and I’m maintaining. It can be done,but sometimes we’re just not ready, in our hearts and minds at the same time. I don’t have any ‘bad’ food in, I eat what’s in my fridge until I have to refill it. I’ve only recently,like last week and this, actually made myself a few proper dinners and not just had a plate of soup or beans on toast. I’m okay at having soup every day till the pot is empty. Do you have a slow cooker that you could have a meal ready fir you coming in from work, there’s nothing worse than having to cook a meal when you’re really hungry and a few biscuits and a tea go down without thinking😏 our appetite is the first to go haywire when we are under stress and it’s the first to come back when that stress is removed.
Remember you’re still healing, don’t be so hard on yourself. Look at where you were this time last year, you and I were on at around the same time and we are both out of that relationship for the most part. Our pets tie us to them but that won’t be forever either. I used good food as a reward, when I felt happy I could eat healthily, but when I felt bad I punished myself by eating rubbish cos I couldn’t fight back, same with the bulimia which I had in my 20’s to mid 30’s.
You can do this sweetheart, it all takes time to fall into place.
Love and strength to you, IWMB 💞💞

[Forus l]

These types of men know exactly how to target our deepest vulnerabilities. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

I hope you’re ok. I have no experience with eating disorders so I can’t advise you in this respect. I will say I hope you’re managing ok today.

There’s a great little app called “Meetup”. It’s like a community where you can look through different interests and meet up with people with similar interests. For me it’s walking and being in nature. I’m rural too, so I dedicate one day a month to this. It’s been really helpful to me as it gets me out and meeting new people.

There’s also women only groups, which is all I’m ready for right now and it’s very powerful… sisterhood.

Big hugs to you x

[Anonymous]

Hi beautiful❤️ I know exactly how you feel I’ve suffered with bulimia for a few years now and know exactly how hard it is. It’s so hard to switch off and stop the urge to binge and purge when it feels like our only option and coping mechanism! I joined slimming world and it’s been amazing. It’s so lovely to go and socialise every week and get so much input and tips off the group, they don’t know I’m bulimic but just going every week knowing I have a goal helps me. Planning meals each week is a massive help and also stocking up on plenty of free foods for example lots of fruit! Get rid of the biscuit tin throw out the crisps and replace with healthy options because then if your going to binge it’s on the right things and not the wrong things. And by eating healthy you won’t feel the need to punish yourself by purging. You’re doing amazing and should be so proud of yourself, I hope this helps. Lots of love❤️ X

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