Never can tell what feeling is about to land in you

[Numbnumb]

It’s finished its over ,I am so much better off. I pinch myself every day because I’m not scared or anxious and no one is going to be horrible to me today. No contact …but anniversary of a family tragedy ,I did text him to mark it at (detail removed by moderator) and he actually text me too at the same time. Now I have a strong feeling that I want him home with us where he belongs ,I won’t act on it, he probably is very happy in his new life but the feeling has taken me by surprise ,makes me wonder if I could trust myself to be strong if he ever did try to return. Just expressing here my surprise of the feeling of warmth towards my abuser today after so many months severed from each other.

[Darcy]

Hi my beautiful Angel… Numbnumb,
I think it is normal to have these feelings especially if you have a shared experience of a family tragedy that you don’t have with anyone else.
It is also normal to have warm feelings about your abuser, after all at one time or another these were men that we saw a future with and had a relationship with.
However don’t get clouded or keep those rose tinted glasses on for long. If this man was a good man and knew what love was, you would not be posting on this forum.
However strong you think you are it takes a lot of work to stay grounded and not get swayed by these men again. So keep on the path you are on and know that you are where you are for a reason and this was just a moment in time.
Sending you love and support
Darcy xx

[Author]

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