Never get it right

[Imtheauthor]

Hello. I’m new here and I’ve read a few of your stories. I feel I know you all. I’ve suffered one form of abuse or another most of my life.
For the last (detail removed by Moderator) years after my divorce I started dating and I seriously got it wrong! How could I keep getting it wrong? Why was I walking straight into yet another violent abusive relationship time and time again. Each time convinced I had picked a good one….
(detail removed by Moderator) years ago after finally getting out of the worst domestic violent relationship ever I decided to get therapy, I saw a psychoanalysis, a man (yes I just needed to speak to a man who wasn’t going to judge me). The first year was horrendous I thought of every excuse not to speak to him, often cancelling my appointments but as time went on I managed to face my fears and demons. I’m still traumatised and fearful and I don’t think that will ever go away. But the one thing I learnt about my situation and me was I WAS NOT TO BLAME, and the way it was explained to me was, I continually went into these relationship because I didn’t know any better, always went back to what I was use to what I was comfortable with (as mad as that sounds). So basically I needed to BREAK THE CHAIN, sounds easy but it isn’t it’s like trying to be someone else. It’s going to take a long time and to be honest I don’t know what is different but I know I must try hard and one day, yes one day I’ll get it right. Have faith, have hope and don’t give up. Be strong, stay positive. Keep going.

[Lisa]

Hi Imtheauthor,

Thank you for sharing with us and welcome to the forum. I hope you continue to find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here:
https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,
Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Imtheauther and welcome 😊

I am so sad to read of all the violence you have suffered over so many years with different partners. So glad that you realise it wasn’t your fault and therapy is helping you.

My DA support worker said every woman who leaves a DA/DV relationship will need therapy. I believe that too it can be so difficult to find a good therapist, yours sounds good.and I understand what you meant by wanting a male therapist. I hadn’t looked at it that way before so thank you for sharing that as that’s something I may do for similar reasons.

Warm wishes ❤️

[Imtheauthor]

Hi Hereforhelp.

Thank you so much for replying to me. I have so many stories to tell and one day when im brave ill tell them all to the world and hopefully that will help me find peace.

[Author]

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