New and advise needed

[BlueLagoon]

I have been with my partner for over (detail removed by Moderator) years, He is an illegal immigrant and lives with me. He has no income and has a serious weed addiction and when he doesnt have weed that is when it makes him spiral out of control more. He has smashed my house up on numerous occasions and broken lots of objects in the home including exspensive items and then I have to clean up the mess. I work full time to pay all the bills including his phone bill, gym membership and fund his £(detail removed by Moderator) a week weed habit (mainly so it calms him down and he doesn’t start on me) he has never physically hit me threatens to and has grabbed me before and left bruising and throws things at me nothing big or heavy. He always calls me names, He spends my money that I work for and from this has put me in around (detail removed by Moderator)grands worth of debt which I cant pay. He puts me down and always calls me fat, ugly, pig etc.. One minute he could be fine and next he is like an animal. I am always nervous and anxious to go home after work and constantly feel sick and uncomfortable whilst around him. But then he does do some nice things, he cooks dinner near enough every night, Normally makes sure I have lunch for work and when he does manage to hold a job down for more then 5mins he will pay for things and buy me things. The main reason I stay is because if I leave him he has no one he has no family and no friends even in his home country he doesnt have anywhere to go or any money he has been here for nearly (detail removed by Moderator)years now illegally. my fear is to leave him as he has made it very clear he will not leave and if he does leave then he will smash the house to pieces and threaterned to hurt me.I just cant bring myself to report him as he will be deported and that will be down to me and emotionally as much as he is horrible and manipulative and controlling I cant help but feel sorry for him and sadly do love him and I know part of him does love me. I really don’t want to I want him out of my life, I am only (detail removed by Moderator) and this has been going on since I was (detail removed by Moderator) and it is killing me. I really dont know what to do am I over reactting is this normal behaviour in a relationship. I get he is stressed out and feels his life is going nowhere but why does he have to take it out on me? The only person that has ever stood my him and not left. I dont know what to do but I have had enough and I cant see his behavior changing. As I am writing this I am currently hiding in the bedroom as he has no weed and we have no money to buy some the (detail removed by Moderator) has been thrown across the room and I have had (detail removed by Moderator) otiems thrown at me already and been called aload of names. I cant see a way out.

[freedomtochoose]

this is potentially extremely dangerous. I would not hesitate to call 999.
You need to be safe. Currenlty you are not safe. Also contact women’s aid,
but you need him out of your premises right now.
anything else is his business, not your responsibility
all best
ftc
x

[BlueLagoon]

I know, but I am scared of what he will do and the damage he will cause I cant afford the repairs and its private rent not even my own home. I will try and keep my head down for tonight and try to go sleep and hope he will calm down and leave me alone. I will try and contact woman’s aid in the morning. Thank you for your reply. X

[xpeacex]

S**t sorry but my ex who was arrested (detail removed by Moderator) is actually an illegal immigrant. Do not be afraid, please try not feel sorry for him in anyway. Seriously you need to let him go, he does not love you, he does not treat you with respect. Hey, my ex was questioned and lied about everything, the police support me and believe me. They got a restraining order sorted so I feel bit safer but obviously he has shown his true colours by telling lies that he didn’t assault me. I recommend voice record or secret video record, any evidence. I feel abit stronger after the arrest yet also on high alert hmm. He is using you and abusing you, don’t matter what his past he should stop it or you call police or go refuge. Take care x*x

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