New and feeling very low

[Red headed lady]

Hi All

I have been with my partner and the father of my child on and off for nearly (detail removed by moderator) years he has always been physically violent and very abusive towards me but always says he’s going to change and that he loves me and he won’t do it again, unfortunately this is not true it’s just got worse of anything.

Our son is now (detail removed by moderator) old and the other day he had me up against the wall by my throat and then went for me again when I was feeding our son he grabbed my face and squeezed it so hard that my teeth nearly punctured the insides of my cheeks.

I have never spoken out to friends or family about this but now feel at the point I don’t want to be around anymore so decided to confide in my mum.

We reported him to the police on (detail removed by moderator) and he was arrested and charged for domestic abuse and now has bail conditions to not come anywhere near me or my house.

I feel sick to the stomach now and feel like I’m the one in the wrong like I always have just needed to get it all off my chest.

[White Rose]

Well done for being strong and I’m really glad you felt you could turn to ypur mum for support.
You must have been frightened for you and also ypur son.
You’ve done the right thing, don’t doubt yourself, just remember that the police are there to call if he breaks bail conditions.
Post again if you need support (or just to rant!) Keep safe and give your little one a hug x*x

[Lisa]

Hi Red headed Lady,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. You have explained serious physical abuse and a situation in which he put your child at risk, so you have done the right thing by going to the police. You’ve been incredibly brave doing so. It’s normal to have feelings of guilt and doubt, however you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Your partner is the only one responsible.
It is often the case after getting the police involved that things feel worse before they get better, so take it a day at a time and look after yourself as much as you can.

If you have not done so already you may find it helpful to call the 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 to speak to a female support worker in confidence.

Please also consider starting your own topic in one of the other forums, which tend to get seen more.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[older lady]

Hello. You did a really brave thing. I hope you won’t feel guilty about that. You were left with no other option in order to protect yourself from further harm. I’ve had to have physiotherapy and still see an osteopath from time to time due to damage done from strangling and from being pinned by my neck. xx

[Littlemouse]

Hi all,your so very brave for reporting it..I wish I could find the courage to do the same. Unfortunately the abuser is my son!! He’s not physically abused me its mental torture every day. He uses alcohol and drugs on a regular basis which makes him more abusive,controlling and a bully. I am so scared of him I live in .y bedroom like a prisoner
It’s unbearable,i’m quickly losing the will to live. I have lost most of my friends lost family and have no support around me. Please help me what to do! I am at my wit’s end and don’t even know if i’m talking to the right people. If i’m not turn I’m sorry for burdening you with .y troubles. From a really scared and confused little mouse x

[Red headed lady]

Thank you all for your lovely words it really helps hearing from other women who know what I’m going through.

I will be sure to post again soon 🙂

[Whenwillifindhappiness]

Please please don’t feel guilty!!! I know I can’t talk trust me but honestly you have nothing to feel guilty about. You need to feel proud and incredibly strong to find the strength to talk to your mum. Listen to her cos she knows you the best and knows the best for you. I didn’t listen to my mum and now I’m pregnant and single and bringing another baby into a broken family. Stay strong hunny you are not alone!!!! Keep posting

[Author]

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