New and just posted in ‘life after abuse’ forum.

[Moomin]

Hi, feeling awful after (detail removed by moderator) where it feels ex emotionally abused me all over again. Just posted in ‘life after abuse’ message board. Need advice please.

[KIP.]

Hi, I responded to your other post but I was wondering if you have support from women’s aid? They can help and maybe even go to court with you. I would also be zero contact with your ex if you haven’t already. Use a third party for handover or a contact centre and also for issues around the children if possible. Contact with our abusers is very triggering for us. Do you have good counselling? Spoken to your GP. Ring the helpline number on here and chat to some wonderful ladies x

[Moomin]

I saw some of the supportive answers before the post was taken down, which I understand why. Thanks so much for your support.
I haven’t called Women’s Aid, do you mean the domestic violence number at the top of the web page? I have rung it a few years ago but I wasn’t sure if I could ring it about something like this. I will be calling them, if so. I will try counselling and maybe talking to my GP. I think I need something concrete to do, almost like ‘righting a wrong’ if that makes sense? x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Moomin, we can call the number abouve anytime, whether the abuse is now or in the past. If you can’t get through try a local WA group. I used my local one and the ladies were lovely, so down to earth and most of all, believed me. They knew what I was trying to say even though I could hardly speak I was so nervous. Definately talk to your gp, mine has been wonderful. She told me that she was there for my mental well being as much as my physical health. That struck a cord. I also asked her to recommend me to be able to speak to someone who could make sense of the whole thing. I had a preliminary meeting with a psychologist to find out which therapy best suited my needs. Because I’m still with my oh she felt any councelling would be counter productive as I’m still in survival mode but once I get away she’ll have no problems speaking to me again and getting me someone to speak too. I do believe that we have the ability to heal ourselves without need of councelling, that we eventually break through all the fog and can carry on with a normal peaceful happy live, but at the same time it’s really really helpful to hear from a professional that we are doing the right thing, that were coping.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕

[KIP.]

For me the ‘concrete’ was campaigning for changes in the law. That was my way of fighting back. However you need to get well first and heal. Don’t rush, don’t overstretch yourself. The system is so unfair for us survivors, it retraumatised me. So you’re not alone x

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