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This topic contains 10 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Ald20 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #113751
     Ald20 
    Participant

    Hi. (detail removed by moderator) i was in a very bad absusive relationship. Control.every day name calling.accuseing me of cheating and violence. I got the police involved got him out my life and starting living again.
    (detail removed by moderator) i met a man who lives (detail removed by moderator) away. We started seeing each other and everything seemed great. No control.no arguements.no red flag love bombing. No rush.
    We went on holiday (detail removed by moderator). First day was great.drinks by pool.etc. thatnight we both drunk he waslaying on the bed and i carnt remember what happened or what was said but he was pushing me on (detail removed by moderator) hitting my arm.i stood up and blood pouring from my head.a night in (detail removed by moderator) hospital.ct scan and (detail removed by moderator) stiches the rest of holiday was spent me ignoring him and him pleading.he never done that before and doesnt no why.
    We returned back to uk and i left straight to my town. I have not seen him since though we have spoken. Him declareing his love and booked on a counsilling course tomorrow for this.
    He seems adament and from previous abuse from ex he is nothing like him. Could this be a 1 off drunk thing or are tthey all the same. Very confused as i have not said nothing to any of my friends or family.

     

  • #113760
     KIP. 
    Participant

    This man sounds dangerous. Please talk to the police and report the incident for your own safety. It’s not that they’re all the same but there are very different kinds of abusers out there. Some use violence and some use emotional abuse. Some use both. You can also ask the police if he has a history or domestic abuse using Claire’s Law. Please protect yourself x

  • #113761
     KIP. 
    Participant

    The fact that you haven’t told anyone also makes me think that deep down you know this was very wrong of him. It’s his shame not yours and abuse thrives on silence. Please tell someone. Talk to your GP or local women’s aid x

    • #113770
       Ald20 
      Participant

      I needed to hear that..just to hear thats not right. I will go to the police to explain and for a police check. I suppose in my head you think you meet someone decent and it all goes to hell. Feel like im a magnet to all the wrong uns. 😔

  • #113771
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Have you spoken to women’s aid about the Freedom Programme. It’s free and it takes us through the eyes of an abuser and how to spot them. It is good for your confidence too. It’s based on the book Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. These abusers are always great in the beginning. It’s how they trap us but you’ve spotted the red flags early in so well done you 💪power to you. How dare he!

    • #113781
       Ald20 
      Participant

      That sounds like something i wwould really like to do. Ive never heard of it before. I seearched freedom programme but it just came up life after freedom programme. How do i go about getting on it.?.thank you.

  • #113783
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Contact your local women’s aid or ring the national domestic abuse helpline. You can buy the book but my local women’s aid gave me a copy. Here’s more information but you shouldn’t have to pay for it. You can do it online too.

    https://freedomprogramme.co.uk

    • #113791
       Ald20 
      Participant

      Thank you. I have emailed my local group. I hope i hear soon. Thank you.x*x

    • #113792
       Ald20 
      Participant

      Thank you. I have emailed my local group. I hope i hear soon. Thank you.x*x

  • #113814
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I had counselling which was great for me and I also did an evening course in psychology which I found really useful. Knowledge Is Power. KIP x

    • #113856
       Ald20 
      Participant

      Hi kip. I have just received email that i have been accepted on my local freedom programme in my area. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. Xx

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