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Hi, I’ve been out of a domestic abuse relationship for just over (detail removed by Moderator)now and I am finding it hard to deal with the subconscious things.
The things I do that I’m not even aware of and sometimes don’t remember doing.
I believe it is called unconscious body memory.Has anyone else dealt with this?
It”s nice to know there are people out there I can talk to
Makes this journey seem less lonely
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Basically when I used to sleep with my ex I would try to make sure I was drunk. Sometimes so drunk that my mind shut off and my body performed without thinking and without feeling. I used to drink nearly every night which I now know, through counselling, that it was my coping mechanism. Now there have been 2 occasions where I have been with someone new, got drunk and basically reverted to autopilot and tried to have sex with him. He has not wanted too as he saw me as too drunk but apparently I have been quiet persistent and willing almost to the point of practically trying to force him to. I have no memory of any of this and am horrified. After speaking to my counsellor I was given a link to read about unconscious body memory after domestic abuse and just wondered if anyone else had dealt with this?
I have now been referred for more in depth counselling and have decided to stop drinking for good as I do not want that to ever happen again.I’m so disturbed that I let his level of abuse do something like that to me for so long
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hi hun
sorry cant really relate, i hope counselling helps you process all the abuse, for me to cope with the abuse i had to switch off all emotions in my body , i know i am still healing, counselling helped me loads admitt the abuse i experienced, i think by chatting with a counsellor u will reveal a lot that you experienced. for me i block everything so i just casually told my counsellor yeah this is what he did, and i was so convinced it was ok as that was what had been drummed into me. I think as i processed everything that had happened i slowly had to reconnect with my emotions, which was so hard as i never felt angry as i just felt trap and had to accept. MAybe as u talk with counsellor what he made u do, your brain will respond and react that it was wrong and u will become aware of your behaviour, even if it means not drinking to stay alert. It is disturbign what they do to us, but i think by speaking out this is the best recovery
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