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I ‘escaped’ nearly (detail removed by moderator) ago now and I stupidly thought that would be it. How wrong was I ? I’ve coped with many issues since but I’ve found the biggest one is me. It’s so hard to learn to be me again how is that? I thought I would just go back to being me but it would seem that (detail removed by moderator) of abuse physical and mental has taken its toll. I so want be be confident and believe what people tell me but I just dont seem to be able to accept what they say. I always seem to think they are just saying it to make me feel better. Just cant get my head round the fact they might be genuine and I’m so scared of losing people with my negativity. (Detail removed by moderator) how did everyone else learn to accept that they are actually worth something ? Sorry for long message but theres so much to get off my chest that others will never understand x
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Hallo YNWA. I am a recent ‘escapee’ and am just starting this journey. I am not going to pretend that I can give you advice as I am a ‘learner’ in the getting-me-back journey. One thing I have realised, for myself, it is impossible to return to who I used to be decades ago. Even if I had not experienced decades of abuse, I would still be a different person by now. I am prepared to have therapy to help me, I set up a specialist who can do it remotely over the internet. You have a lot ahead of you and I detect a lot of trauma in your account. The court process will prove to be re-traumatising. You need very specialised help from a psychologist who is expert in this field.Your mistrust of people is protective of your self at the moment.
You do not ‘need’ to be strong for any body. The way to survive as a survivor, to emerge, is to put yourself first. Find your own needs and then your own boundaries- what is acceptable to you from others, what is not. Tell your adult children how you feel. Seek more advice from this forum, there are some expert contributors here and I have no doubt many will have been through similar court cases and will give you good advice. x*x
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