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[Forsaken03]

Hi all,

I’m new here. I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship with a n********t. Good part, if I can call it like that: it lasted (detail removed by moderator) months. Bad part: it left me with traumas, depression and anxiety. The biggest step was made: I’m not there anymore, altought my brain hasn’t processed it yet, hence nightmares of being there. It affected me a lot and it still is, on all ways possible…
I want to start a journey of healing, coping with what happened and moving on a better self. Don’ t know how yet, but I don’t want to let fear guide my every single day. I want to learn how to laugh again and enjoy life.
How did you manage to cope with or how did you start your healing process?

Thanks

[Ariadne]

Hi @Forsaken03,

You must feel proud of yourself for being out! Hopefully you can now breathe deep and start to get rid of the fog that has clouded your mind before.
Every healing journey is different, but I think reading/looking up info on these topics (e.g., on trauma bond, on abusive relationships) could be a good starting point. Also, journal about the whole experience, what you didn’t like and what you would like from now on. Therapy of course is great too. I have heard recently that working on your trauma right after a traumatic situation might not be the best way to go: first you want to have as many positive experiences as possible and get to a good place. And then you can, if needed, delve deeper into the trauma. Not sure if this applies to everyone, but I thought it could be interesting to share.

Take care of yourself!

[Grey Rock]

The Freedom Program has been great for me. I’m now on the second part which is Freedom Forever. I got it free through Women’s Aid referral but I think it only costs about £15 if you self refer online.

Dr Ramani YouTube videos helped me to understand what I has experienced in my relationship with a N too, and in particular figure out why I’d reacted in wats that I found confusing. They also helped me prepare for the N..ic rage as it manifested into stalking and harassment and gave me the strength to navigate police and court proceedings necessary to keep myself safe in the aftermath.

Books that helped me were numerous too, but ones that spring to mind currently are Out of the FOG (Fear Obligation and Guilt) and one that offered a Christian perspective on breaking free from a relationship with a N…isn’t.

Also, reading and posting on here helps. There’s always someone slightly ahead or following on the path of escape or recovery from abuse that helps me to reflect on my experiences in a positive fashion rather than one that is self pitying or resentful, which might be understandable under the circumstances but would be detrimental to my emotional and spiritual health and wellbeing.

Stick around. There is a lot to gain on this forum from this amazing group of ladies.

Take care.
GR x

[Forsaken03]

Good morning sisters,

@Ariadne, @Greyrock – many thanks for your advice, it’s all very appreciate it. Since I was on fight and flight mode, my mind has been clouded and now I’m trying to figure out steps towards recovery.
I will take up to anything that can help in this situation and I very grateful to have you all sharing with me your road and your ways.
I will stick around, this is so helpful, knowing I can reach out and find strong women with similar experiences.
Lots of love.

Thanks

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