21st November 2023 at 7:51 am #163411DaisiesParticipant
It’s taken me a long time to join this forum and just wanted to put my experiences down in writing. If I were reading it, I know exactly what I’d say but wouldn’t it be great if it was all that easy?
My partner is physically, emotionally and financially abusive to me. He has been since the beginning of our relationship although only emotional at first. It started with name calling and belittling, then progressed to the odd ‘clip’ over the head until we got to the stage we’re at now which is kicking, shoving, grabbing my face etc.
I was working full time and earning more than him but it was too much as I/we have kids. We both decided I should reduce my hours and he said he would make up the difference. Predictably this hasn’t happened, when I ask for money it ends with him saying he can’t keep me and I need to work more if I need money, all while he has almost daily deliveries. The next day could be a different story with him saying I should ask.
Everything came to a head a while ago when he shoved me to the ground, kicked me and repeatedly slammed the door on me. My kids witnessed the aftermath, I broke down at work and we were rightly reported. It has been a while since this happened, there are no services involved in our lives anymore and he never sought help or support.
It hasn’t got as bad again but the name calling, belittling and financial stuff remains.
He doesn’t believe he’s abusive and I’m worn-out from this life. I’ve told him I’m done and feel we need to split for the good of the kids. He won’t let me stay in the house we jointly own as he put more in financially than I did and I’m terrified where me and the kids will end up. I have been in this situation before and I can’t go back to that.
Anyway, no real point to this, just wanted it in writing to give me strength in the coming months and hopefully to reflect on when I’m free.
21st November 2023 at 8:43 am #163412HappybelleParticipant
Hello and you’ll find many a lady here able to share their experiences which may help to you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s just awful and completely unacceptable that they think they can treat people this way x
21st November 2023 at 10:34 am #163417swanlakeParticipant
That sounds so difficult. I put the same amount of money into a property as my abuser and they don’t want me to have anything from the sale. In our abusers’ minds, everything is to suit them and benefit them.
I believe that you might be able to apply for an occupation order and a non molestation order to stay in the family home and get your partner out. But it might be hard work emotionally to go through that. You have support here whatever happens.
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