9th March 2020 at 9:50 am #98979KeeponfightingParticipant
I’m new to this site but would love peoples help and support!
So i will start my telling you my story. I’ve been with my partner for (detail removed by moderator). We have 2 children together and i have 1 from a previous relationship.
I feel like my partners abuse (gaslightning, mental and emontional) has ruined the relationship! I still doubt myself and hate to thing i was in a relationship like this.
He’s constantly making me feel s**t about myself, blaming everything on me, calls me immature and says I can’t take a joke, calls me names and says things to the kids about me.
So after (detail removed by moderator) of constant arguing things came to a head (detail removed by moderator) and he moved up and we split up.
I suffer with anxiety (something he didn’t understand) and this has got alot worst this past week.
We lived in rent accomodation and the tenancy is up (detail removed by moderator). I can’t afford to love her on my own so going to get up homeless!!! I’ve contacted the council etc. So not only am i dealing with a break up but i have all that added stress on my hand. I don’t know how I’m going to cope and what to do about work.
We spent the day together (detail removed by moderator) and its ours daughters (detail removed by moderator) so we celebrated that and we had a lovely day. It just makes you think why can’t it always be like that!
He admitted that he treats me like s**t etc at times! I tend to blame myself and think i must have done something to deserve it!! As i don’t get how someone can be so mean and treat the one they love like that.
In the past I’ve asked him to get help for his anger and behaviour. He went to the doctors and tthey put him on tablets. I could see a difference in him but he stopped them and said he doesn’t need them!!
I think deep deep down i know things will never change (well they always do for a month or so but then goes back to him being nasty) its just so hard to throw away the familybut i have to do it for the kids aswel as its not fair on them being around this!
A (detail removed by moderator) into single life and I’m having good and bad days but im sure i will get there.
Its hard when the kids are all in bed and you have time to think.
My ex says he misses the persobln he fell in love with! Do you think i forgot about him and just concentrated on being mum?
Im so sorry for the long post.
10th March 2020 at 9:25 am #99027LisaMain Moderator
Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.
Sorry to hear about what you have been experiencing. I just wanted to let you know that you are not to blame , you’re just being a good mum by concentrating on your children and realising that this environment is not good for them. It is his actions and behaviour that is not acceptable. It’s good that you have realised that things won’t change.
I think the next step would be for you to get some support if you haven’t already, you could get in touch with your local domestic violence service for support https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/
Take care and please keep posting to let us know how you are doing
10th March 2020 at 10:55 am #99041freedomfries01Participant
He misses the person he fell in love with? He’s twisting it to make you feel it’s you because the man you fell in love with doesn’t exist. He put in a front and twisted every little thing until you, like us all here, believe that you’re the one that’s caused it all. Keep away from him and don’t believe his lies. If you’ve changed it was to fit in with him because he made you feel inadequate. He was never the nice person you thought he was. Take care lovely one 💖
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