New here, confused & seriously needing advice

[Crazylady19]

Hi, new to the site and still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I am a victim of domestic abuse!! Me who was always the gobby one who would never take any c**p off anyone, how wrong was I!! Been married for over a decade now and it’s only been since the beginning of 2019 that My rose tinted glasses fell off. Oh all the signs have been there, slowly pushing away all my friends and family taking control of all the finances including my benefits that I don’t have access to! Playing mental games is the worse part about this and the gaslighting. Constantly being accused of cheating, lies about anything and everything. I have a few life long disabilities including bpd and depression and I have no family or friends or money to get out of here and I don’t know what to do!! I can’t go to hostel I just can’t do it. I don’t get time on my own to even call anyone I’m sat on the toilet writing this as she gets violet if I’m speaking to anyone on social media or anything so I have to hide my phone I can’t go on like this much longer, this is not what love looks like!! Any advice please thank you xx

[KIP.]

You need to contact your local women’s aid. There is a helpline number on here if you can call or some days there is a chatline. Ring 999 if you feel unsafe and they will help you x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, welcome to the forum, it takes courage to do what you’ve done so be proud of yourself, get ready to find that gobby person that you are but who is locked away just now. Once the rose tinted glasses break there’s no going back to being who you were, you have started on the road back to you, but it’ll be a different version of you. Domestic abuse changes us, it cant do anything but change us. I’m almost back to me, I’m definitely more assertive than I was which isn’t a bad thing😊 can you make an appointment with your gp,make a double one. Can you get to hospital appointments without her? When you’re in the surgery you could ask your doctor fir the time to Call your local WA, I found mine under the main one online. Arrange an appointment with them. I don’t know how spiritual you are, i practice LOA (law of attraction) it has helped me get away from my husband and also to bring money to me. Ive got a £50 note in my purse and I’ve found that since I’ve had that I’ve always got money in my purse. Since ive left, I’m no longer in ther red with my bank and all my bills are paid on time now. Read as much as you can on the subject.abuse isn’t jyst about being physically abused, there’s psychological, emotional, financial and sexual abuse usually wrapped up in the mix. Keep taking baby steps, knowledge is power. Keep posting and reading others posts.
Take care, have you journaled the abuse, dates times how it made you feel, if there’s anyone else present. Journaling is also a way of reminding you I’d whet its happening are the brain shuts off traumatic events to protect us. That’s why If someone asked you what happened you’d find it hard to remember.
Best wishes IWMB 💞

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