New here…my story

[Lostandlonelynewbie22]

I am new here, feeling very lost, in denial and in need of support

I have been with my (not living together )partner (detail removed by Moderator)years (this time round..we have known each other since teemagers). He has been suffering with mental health issues (hearing voices) for the last (detail removed by Moderator) years. This has placed increasing strain out relationship. We have tried to get support but with not alot of success. The past (detail removed by Moderator) months this has ramped up, he was increasingly agitated and shouty and spent more time on his own in his own space, punching walls. Aware that his anger was building he finally sought help (detail removed by Moderator) as he was aware of the build up. We then got into a disagreement shouting at each other, I was pushed over repeatedly and he tried to strangle me. A neighbour called the police, I called his family, he left before they turned up.  He was found (concern he was a risk to himself) and arrested, he is on bail with conditions not to contact me. That was (detail removed by Moderator) weeks ago. I feel now as bruises healed that its like it didn’t happen. I am lucky we never lived together, and know him well enough to know he won’t contact me. I feel so alone, I’ve lost best friend, although with his mental health issues, he hasn’t been my person for a while. He could see the damage this was doing to us and me, and we’d talked about having a break for him to get better, but I wasn’t quite ready and now this.

The police were all over it in the first 12 hours and then nothing..Ive finally spoke to them and was told they were giving me space, but I was in shock, haven’t experienced this before, and never involved them in this..I feel so powerless and confused. If he is finally

getting help that he’s needed then I guess that’s an outcome. But I have no way of knowing, his family haven’t replied to my text. The next question will be do I want him charged, and I don’t, I just want it to go away.

I have only told 2 friends, and have  carried on working and being mum (my daughter was with her father when it occurred) don’t want people’s anger and judgement..but today feels like I’m going mad

I’m trying not to check SM every hour to see if he’s on it, has he unfriended me etc..which is not important in the scale of things..

Sorry just needed to vent in my confusion..

[Lisa]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing with us. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

If you feel like you are in need of some additional support, you could chat to a Women’s Aid worker in confidence via our Live Chat service (open every day). They won’t tell you what to do, but can discuss your situation and signpost you to other support that’s relevant for you. You can access the chat service here.

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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