New here, need some help pls

[Keeping Positive]

My ex partner has been emotionally abusing me since (detail removed by moderator), didn’t realise it was abuse until about (detail removed by moderator) or so. I just thought he had mental Health issues and drinking problems.

Anyway, after (detail removed by moderator) of things escalating and me and my daughter having to leave every now and again to get away last week things really came to a head when he became violent. He thought nothing of slapping, strangling, kicking and punching me. My daughter witnessed all this and tried her very hardest to get him off me. We got out but he followed To my moms street where he brought a carving knife and threatened my sister and others in the street. Daughter and I ran to a neighbours house. The police got him and he’s now on remand.

Before this I was in the process of leaving and was waiting for a let house to have some repairs done so we could leave. Now because of the situation the council have classed us as high priority and will assist in a managed move. Told daughter and she’s really upset about it, she had loads of plans for the new house, there was one extra bedroom, one extra room downstairs etc.

I feel her disappointment but know that to give up a secure tenancy would be foolish if they could move us to somewhere else decent.

She’s currently sleeping as she was upset and said she didn’t want to talk about it.

How can I get her to understand my reasoning behind staying with the council? I appreciate it’s too soon to be making big changes and a lot to take in. She’s just witnessed her sad beat her mom up with the intention to kill and he’s now in prison. I’m going to arrange counselling for both of us as I think we need it but I’m unsure about the housing at the moment. For info she’s (detail removed by moderator) and will be hopefully going to uni in 18 months.

Thank you x*x

[KIP.]

Hi there and welcome. What a terrible experience for you and I’m glad he is remanded. They are at their most dangerous when we try to leave. There is a helpline number on here if you need to speak to someone. I would recommend you get in touch with your local women’s aid. She’s almost an adult and will be going off on her own so you could say that you need secure housing going forward. It’s too much of a risk long term. She may be acting out because of what she has seen and what she too is going through. Try to encourage her about university. Give her positive things and goals. Take all the support offered. Victim Support are great help. Hang in there. Your safety is most important. Make sure the police keep you updated x

[Keeping Positive]

Thank you for your response. I’ll do that, everyone seems to be rallying around and the support given over the last few days has been amazing, I can’t fault the services at all.

Hopefully we can get some sort of normality back in due course.

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

So glad his on remand and u are both are safe, its normal for your child to be upset, mine was too, it really does traumtise both you and the child, my child were in shock too and found it hard to deal with, give her her space if she needs it and just let her know when she is ready to chat u are waiting . It is part of the painful process, do what u feel is right

[Author]

Posts