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    • #9956
      Serenity
      Participant

      Hi All,

      As some of you might know, I got a non-molestation order against my ex-husband, which was altered to an Undertaking when he contested it.

      This undertaking expired a short while ago, but along with the contact arrangements he promised to keep off my road and pick the kids up from the neighbouring road, to not contact me and to use my mum as thurs party contact about the children.

      He never contacts my mum about the kids, except recently to try to get her to exhort money out of me ; he is getting closer and closer, first picking the kids up from up the road, now parking right outside the neighbour’s house ; he had tried to get the kids to give me a letter and a present, and this week I came fact to face with him as I came out of my drive ( he was sat there in his car ) and he gave me a hard stare.

      I have called the police and they’ve logged it all, and say it will help, but I can’t get a harassment order against him until he has directly approached me twice.

      They told me to take it back to the court if he has broken the contact arrangement by coming on to the road, but what I want to know is, is this enough to get the Undertaking reinstalled ? Or would he need to do more?

      Thanks x

    • #9978
      White Rose
      Participant

      Sorry Serenity I have no real idea what to suggest. He’s really pushing his luck though! What do police class as contact – do they mean breaking contact order or him actually approaching you?
      Surely there’s some come back in him breaking contact order?
      Part of me feels I want to say ignore him even when he’s outside, hold your head high and live your life he’s just another man in your town but that won’t work as he’s the father of your boys.
      I think continue logging with police but try to keep your emotion totally under control when he’s there – by showing you don’t care he may get bored – after all he’s only doing it to irritate and unsettle you xx

    • #9979
      Winterblues2
      Participant

      My ex does the same. I have a non mol at the moment, but each week at handover he pushes the boundaries a tiny bit more.

      The undertaking will need to go back to court with evidence of any breaches. The police may only get involved if there is a power of arrest. But certainly if you feel it’s mounting to harassment do keep them informed.

      My ex put cctv all over our home to keep an eye on who I had visit and how long I was out etc. This works in my favour now as I have evidence if he comes too close and he knows this.

    • #9996
      Serenity
      Participant

      Thank you my sweethearts. It. Is just nice to receive your views.

      Bless you and hope the weekend brings something beautiful xxxxx

    • #10015
      katielove
      Participant

      Hi Serenity,

      I disagree slightly with what the police said – stalking, and a situation with an ex who is causing you psychological distress, only has to happen twice. Direct contact is not mentioned in this law. I would phone the police again and detail your distress and how you are now having to change your daily life. Once you have done that, if he sits outside your house again phone 999. This is the advice I received from my IDVA; if you are scared then it is an emergency. I have found that at times I have had to be really assertive with the police – but it has worked in my favour.

      Take care x

    • #10024
      Alone
      Participant

      I agree, I have contacts in the police and I was told they have to look out for certain words. If you say you are scared, feel harassed/intimidated, they have to take notice.

      xx

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