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I’ve been with my current partner for a number of years and have recently acquired a new piece of jewellery.
I’m really struggling with the sensation of it on my finger. Its beautiful but it’s proving to be a bit of a trigger (which then leads down a rabbit hole of nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive memories).
I’m genuinely happy and my new partner is wonderful but I don’t want to tell him any of this.
I guess I just wanted to put this out into the world. -
Could you change the finger you wear it on and see if it makes a difference. Or wear it round your neck on a necklace for a while to get used to it. Perhaps it would be good to talk to a therapist if you can’t share it with your partner. Maybe it’s the keeping Of the secret from your partner that is making you anxious too x
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Ok don’t put his needs to be thanked for the gift before your own needs for emotional security. You already did this with your abuser. That’s how we end up being hurt and abused. You don’t have to tell him anything, you are not obliged to. Just don’t wear it. Remember the most important person in your life is you. You have to put yourself, your feelings and thoughts first. This is non negotiable. Draw your boundaries around your soul and keep them there. This may sound strange but it is hugely important to continue to protect yourself.
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