- This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by
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Hi there. (detail removed by Moderator) ago I left my abusive husband with little kids. The police helped me to get out safely. I am staying in my friends house in different town, far away from abuser. I went no contact, only reply for an email about kids. We are sleeping on the sofa, I am waiting for an accommodation. I need some support and advice from you girls, what shall I do next? I need to find a solicitor and get some legal advice. I feel wierd, disconnected and like a robot. I live automatically I don’t know if that’s the result of shock and stress. What do you think?
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Hi and a massive well done for making the break away! Also, well done on no contact, that’s so important.
The feeling like a robot is definitely shock, stress, relief etc.
Yes, definitely get some legal advice, also if you can, call the Women’s Aid helpline or contact your local women’s aid/domestic abuse charity who can give you further advice about accommodation.
If you’re worried about the affect on your kids you can also contact the NSPCC for advice about helping them through it.
x
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Hi and Welcome!
I don’t really have any advice as I am in a similar situation only (detail removed by Moderator) down the line. I left too with my 2 little boys and are now sleeping in my sisters spare room. I have a shopping bag of clothes to my name. I haven’t done anything legal yet, I am trying to organise contact with the kids informally (this is the (detail removed by Moderator) week it has worked out ok). Everyone seems to rave about no contact but I’m not really brave enough for that but I wish I was. The first few weeks after I left was the worst time of my life. I remember being convinced that everything would always be this bad and that I might as well go back just so I could feel normal again. But it did get better, slowly and still far from perfect but I’m so glad I stuck to my guns.
You are so brave and strong- just keep that in your mind! -
Get support from your local womens aid. Ring the helpline on here for advice. Ring Rights For Women, who offer free legal advice. Ask your friend if she can act as a buffer for the emails he sends. You dont need to have any contact with him. All contact can be done through a third party. Any contact means more mind games, manipulation and toxic shock. Its a rollercoaster ride but if you can stay no contact then it gets much easier. If youre a victim of crime then Victim Support were fantastic too. Take all the help you can get in the meantime x
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Mummyboo
If I can advice you.. if your ex is an abuser organise a contact with the kids formally because he can manipulate you and children or take them away if you won’t have any court paper. If your abuser is a n**********c man, believe me he doesn’t have a feelings like we have… he can feel just anger and sick satisfaction. They are capable of using children yo still control us. Be careful.
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