New on here, trying to find a way forward

[hockney]

Evening- I left my husband (detail removed by Moderator) ago, and am really struggling to see any progress. Yes, the anxieties and stress of his behaviour have lessened- but have been replaced by those of financial hardship, no legal help and an uncertain and unstable future.
I had no choice but to leave – I was locked out and all money withdrawn from our accounts. My home was abroad, he refuses to let me have any belongings and discuss a settlement. I can’t afford a solicitor, and have tried 5 times with different firms to get legal aid- but no one wants to take my case. I am in my (detail removed by Moderator) and cannot face a future like this. No wonder many women go back….

[Eggshells]

Hi Hockney, Welcome to the forum. I can sense your despair and frustration.

You will find a way forward but abusive men will make it as hard as they can.

Have you tried Citizen’s Advice? You normally only get a really short slot but they should be able to give you some advice to get you moving in the right direction.

It looks like you are going to have to pay for legal support. You may have to take a loan to do this. You could look into an interest free credit card.

Do you know if what he is doing is illegal in the country where your home was?

[hockney]

Hi Eggshells- thanks for the kind words – yes I have tried Citizens Advice… the issue is everything being overseas. Cannot seem to find out if any uk legal rulings are enforceable abroad. That’s the key – he’s already told me he can drag this out for years, me with nothing, him with everything. It seems so unjust after everything me and our children have put up with. They are grown up now… and neither wants anything to do with him, so he’s lost his family. I think women are supported to leave, but once you are in a place of safety, there isn’t much help or support. These forums help though!

[Nodrama]

Hi Hockney, sorry to hear this and I feel your pain very much. This is very similar to my case. Fortunately I’ve been able to borrow money from decent people who actually care about us. It’s very cruel of him and sad that he’d rather lose his family than just be fair. Again the same as my case. It’s disgusting that after years together and children together that they treat you this way. It hurts! He’s in the house with everything, including our belongings. I’ll never get my head round it. We were sofa surfing for (detail removed by Moderator) months while he was in house alone. I tell myself daily at least I’m not having to deal with his abuse. Our journey isn’t over and I dream of a stable future. Not a lot to ask hey. I wish I could help you.

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