New relationship after DV.

[peachycuteness1]

Hi,

Ive posted on here a few times and I’m happy I’m not here ranting about still being with my abuser.
I’ve got a new partner. Someone I’ve known for years…and used to fancy him years and years ago. We eventually got talking, and now in a relationship. He’s perfect. I can not fault him. Nor am I worried I’ve made the wrong choice , as he’s never ever showed me signs of an abuser or being a n********t.
however, the only problem is my head. My head goes 100 miles per hour. Im scared he don’t love me. I’m scared he’s going to cheat. If things feel off I have mad anxiety somethings going to happen, and he might just be chilled out. But that for me (in past relationships) meant something was going to happen. I’m currently pregnant as well, which I’m over the moon about and so is he, but that’s when all the abuse started with a previous partner…I’ve also miscarried twice. There’s times I just want to cry because I can’t explain what goes on in my head. I don’t want to push him away…I love him. But I’ve tried ending things with him a few times because I just think it would be easier for me to be single (instead of waiting around to get hurt). I don’t wanna end things. He’s the love of my life, but how the hell can I stop my head from doing these stupid things. I genuinely believes he hates me deep down. Idk why. Or what. I can’t explain my head…

[Lisa]

Hi peachycuteness1,

Thank you for sharing with us about what you are going through. It sounds very difficult for you. Unfortunately relationships after abuse can bring up a mix of emotions and memories which can be triggering for various reasons. You might find it helpful to explore Bloom. They offer free online courses created by/in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma. The courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace covering topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries- https://bloom.chayn.co/

Do keep posting to us when you can, it can really help to share here with others who understand.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Author]

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