New relationship, same problem?

[purplecat]

I am not sure whether I am entering into another controlling relationship. My ex husband wrote me a letter from prison saying he hopes when he is released that we can co parent. He told me he loved me once and that he is sad that our future growing old together and being grandparents is not going to happen. It made me question whether I had imagined all the nasty, emotional abuse and the financial abuse that left me and my children desperate.
But the letter was not opened by me but by my boyfriend. He saw it and recognised the handwriting. He kept it from me until he thought I was ready to read it. He said his reasons are to protect me but he could’ve held on to it and not read it. He said he was worried about my reaction and how it might affect my day. It was a deeply personal letter.
I am worried I have jumped from the frying pan into the fire.

[maddog]

Your boyfriend should not be reading your private mail. End of. Your ex is in prison because he was found guilty of a crime. He is responsible for his own behaviour, not you! You didn’t put him there, he did.

I hope you can get away from this new man. It really isn’t for him to tell you when or not you may be ready to take on information. Sometimes there is no good time and it’s certainly not up to him to decide on your behalf. Whatever next?

[KIP.]

Huge red flag. Way overstepping boundaries. I would never open someone else’s personal letters without consent. Insecure and controlling are words that come to mind x women’s aid recommended 2 years before dating after an abusive relationship. I was way too vulnerable for at least three.

[Author]

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