New to forum and…If I knew then…

[Soulsearcher18]

Hi
How are you all- how has your day been?

I am new to the forum. I have joined because I am really missing the support groups during lockdown.
They were really helping me to process all that has happened and were such a great source of support.
I guess you would call me a survivor, as in, I got out- though still navigating the abusive perpetrator tactics due to current systems.

I’ve still so much to process and learn but I am determined to move forward. There are ups and downs on this path and I will say that lockdown has brought unforeseen challenges in terms of communication with my perpetrator but it is comforting to know that, though our paths may differ, I am not alone in it all. I am a survivor and I am part of something so much bigger and better than what I have experienced.

I’ve looked at some of the topics. One thing that runs through my mind when reading some of them is, if only I had of known then what I know now- easy to say in hindsight!
I didn’t do my research, I didn’t go on sites like this to explore and talk to others. I think I was repressing it all, avoiding it. For me it just hit a point where I just couldn’t take anymore, I finally confided in a close friend and then it all moved really fast from that point. It was like, once I had reached that point, told someone, there was no turning back but it all moved so fast that by the time I got to where I was headed I was diagnosed with PTSD symptoms.

I don’t have regrets but I do wish that I had confided in friends/family/professionals sooner so that I could have gathered evidence, so valuable when you get on the other side. That said, life doesn’t always run to a plan and sometimes you just have to get out.

Look forward to chatting and getting to know you all.

Thanks

Soulsearcher18 – as in searching for my own soul at times and (detail removed by moderator)!

 

[Wants To Help]

Hi SoulSearcher 18,

So glad you’ve made it out the other side too, I’ve been living abuse free for well over a decade now, and like you say, if only I knew then what I know now!! Done so much reading, had lots of counselling, learned what to look for in the early days. I’ve had a few dates with guys where I’ve asked them some particular questions and the answers they have given have been red flag warnings signs straight away. That first date has never progressed to a second 🙂

[Soulsearcher18]

Hi Wants To Help,
Good to hear from you. Great to hear that you are years out the other side. Counselling is next up for me I think, I’m ready for it now.
Entering the world of dating at some point is a pretty daunting prospect but it sure is good to be in the know with warning signs- forewarned is forearmed as they say!
Hopefully it won’t be hard to walk away if it’s not right as I’ll know it is there issue, not mine and I’ll move on with my restored self esteem and confidence in tact.
Look forward to learning and chatting with everyone, loved reading the posts on the Sanctuary Cottage by Braelyn in Positive Moments- inspired and uplifting.
Thanks for your response

Soulsearcher18 xx

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