This topic contains 13 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  HopeLoveHappiness 1 week, 6 days ago.

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  • #113330
     HopeLoveHappiness 
    Participant

    Hey💗.

    I’m new here, I’ve been through alot as i can imagine everyone else who is here has been too. I’m here for anyone who needs to talk or even just needs a friend. Would love to make new friends, and support each other💕. My lifes pretty rough at the moment, going through such a hard time. I left my ex in (detail removed by moderator), and im still struggling it makes it harder that we have a daughter together who he uses as a weapon and to control me😢. Xx

     

  • #113333
     Beautifulday 
    Participant

    hi @LoveHopeHappiness!

    Welcome to the forum! Lovely to meet you! Im sorry to hear your going through a bad time, when you feel ready to open up we will offer support and advice, we are all experiencing abuse or have left abusive relationships, the ladies here are wonderful x*x

    • #113335
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Lovely to meet you also💕 im glad we all have each other to support💗xx

    • #113607
       Bonnie 
      Participant

      Hi
      I’m new to the site and feeling really down.
      My husband is a gambler and whilst he hasn’t hurt me physically, the emotional abuse feels awful. He is all nice thru the week but come the weekend he starts, i’m called every name under the sun,told i’m not a good oerson to be around, that it’s my fault he gambles, that i’ve not suppourted him etc etc.
      He even brings my parents up who have both passed away to try and get a reaction out of me. We have a mortgage on our house and i would love him to move out, i have no fight left in me anymore and deep down dont want to be with him but just cant seem to get the guts to finally put and end to it.

    • #113610
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Hi Bonnie💕,

      You deserve so much more. I know that leaving is easier said than done. Hes blaming you for what hes doing, making it out to be your fault even though its not. You should speak to a solicitor or even go to your GP. You need to do whats best for you💗

  • #113341
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Hi HopeLoveHappiness
    I love your name 😄
    Welcome to the forum
    I’m sorry to hear about your daughter, I’ve read your other post about her asking to come home during a visit. A child doesn’t just do that out of caprice. Her concerns and wishes and SAFETY should be taken very seriously by the social worker.
    You can contact below charity to make sure you and your daughters concerns are heard, you both are treated right and fairly by the social worker.

    Family Rights Group
    https://www.frg.org.uk/

    Addionally contact Women’s Aid to ask for support as well.
    Keep strong and keep posting 💪💕

    • #113389
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Hi hopelifejoy💗.

      Aww thank you, i love yours too🥰.well I thought that too, but they really didn’t care unfortunately 😔. They have literally done nothing but make me feel like a bad mum. I will do that, thank you so much ❤️ X

  • #113458
     fight2survive 
    Participant

    Hi.
    Taken a lot to actually get on here and realise I need help/support. Some days I feel ok and can deal with everything then there are days like today where I am typing this in tears.
    After leaving a pretty controlling relationship, financially, emotionally, EVERYTHING my fault etc, I ended the relationship but I had to still live in the family home with my (removed by moderator) year old day and my ex until we had enough money to find a new home. From that moment he turned into someone I didn’t know, even worse than he was before. I have endured nearly every day for (removed by moderator) months intimidation, verbal abuse, threatening behaviour, took my car away and any access to money I once had, just basically mind games. One minute he would be calling me a C You Next Tuesday then the next he would try and talk to me like we were best friends. I never thought he would ever physically hurt me but he did, twice. I got an urgent Non Molestation Order granted and he was arrested for Domestic Assault only for him to be released and coming back to the house in the middle of the night.I have never been so terrified. I thought we were being burgled until he shouted to unlock the door. A police f up basically! Because they couldn’t trust him to stay away for the night my daughter and I had to leave and find someone to stay (removed by moderator) because the police said they couldnt keep me safe. I have been sofa surfing since, until my daughter and I move into our new home next week. I should be happy we will be safe in our new home but I cannot convince myself that I will be safe. I think of every worse case scenario that could happen , even with the NMO.

    I cannot sleep upstairs at the moment as im scared I wont hear whats going on downstairs since he was released in the middle of the night and was trying every door to get in and all I can also think of is listening to him come upstairs and whether he would walk past bedroom I had moved into or stand outside to intimidate.

    I feel really let down by the police as no one in the past week since the assault has got in touch to tell me the outcome of him in custody, only from him while he shouted through the letter box. When I gave my statement to the police I told them I had him admit on a voice recording (unbeknown to him) that he has assaulted me. So im battling with why they didnt charge him or want my evidence and I can’t get hold of the right people to talk about the case.
    I also found out recently that he has a history of battery with other ex’s.

    Hoping to talk to my Dr soon as Im not sure im coping well with my brain not shutting down and not sleeping and just being consumed by it 24/7.

    I don’t think I’m mourning the relationship as what has happened over the past (removed by moderator) months has written off the past (removed by moderator) years but Im finding it sad how someone who i thought loved me although still controlling can suddenly drop a mask so awful that I am generally scared for my life.

    At the moment I don’t know how not to feel scared that he and his family won’t find out our new address. Anyone can find anyones address I know that but I feel I will be constantly looking behind me, jumping if the door goes.

    Sorry to ramble but so much is going on in my head xx

    • #113536
       Hazydayz 
      Participant

      Welcome fight2survive. It’s ok. Your not alone now your here. 💞

    • #113550
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Hi Fight2survive💕.

      Firstly i just want to say how brave you are for coming here and sharing your story. I know how it hard it is. It sounds like you’ve been through hell and i am so sorry you have had to go through that😔. To be honest, the police should have taken that more seriously. They should have supported you through this ordeal, and something should have been put in place by them, for example, not to contact you, or come near you. My ex wasn’t charged but i still was able to get those conditions put in place. Which is why I don’t understand why they let him out without even informing you, your living in fear with your daughter. The police clearly aren’t doing there job. I know what its like to live in fear, I know how scared you must be, but everyone on here has experienced an abusive relationship. We will all support you. Make sure your voice is heard, i would speak to citizens advice and just let them know your situation, they might be able to recommend people who can help.

      Sending love 💕
      X*x

  • #113528
     Watersprite 
    Participant

    Hi hopelovehappiness nd fight2survive as someone who has also left I know what it has taken and welcome! Fight2survive It doesn’t sound like this has been managed well by the police and I understand your fear- mine too! It sounds you need more support – did police refer you for the IDVA service? Do you have a social worker? I have found these better sources of support when risk is high. Failing that please speak to women’s aid or GP it will take time and support to process what has happened and there is lots of info and support on here. If he does turn up and you are afraid call the police again. Sounds like it’s early days this is a marathon not a sprint but you’ve started you will end up giving yourself and your daughter a free life!

    • #113566
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Hi Watersprite💕,

      Thank you for being so kind🥰.

  • #113535
     Hazydayz 
    Participant

    Welcome to you HopeLoveHappiness. Look forward to talking with you soon x

    • #113567
       HopeLoveHappiness 
      Participant

      Hi Hazydayz💕

      Thank you, i look forward to talking with you also🥰x

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