New with loads of questions

[roko]

Hi,
Not sure to begin but here goes… I’ve been with that person for about (detail removed by moderator) in which I got pregnant and have a (detail removed by moderator) baby. A bell should have rung in the beginning when I was away seeing my family and got suicidal messages from him because I was missed, early in pregnancy and anything small would set him off. Badly I wanted to make it work and have a family so I tried to talk and numerous times I’ve said he can share any demons. Of course that didn’t work as the lies started along with psychological and financial abuse. Also not long after the birth I got depression but didn’t crossed my mind the reason could be him.
Only recently I saw it’s abuse after another suicidal argument … To top everything up my family and me were called all sorts of names, got threatened couple of times, received a blow at the shoulder and there’s a drug abuse. The last one has been going on for a long time but I wasn’t aware what drugs do and their side effects. I’m certain of that consumption as I found evidence of an opiate which made me sick to my guts. How could you do that when you have a child I will never know.
So I’ve set my mind it’s over but I don’t know what to do. I’m scared to tell him to leave from my own house as I don’t know what he’ll do… I’m also scared that if I go to a solicitor I won’t have enough evidence and only my words won’t be enough. Do I call the police when I have suspicions that he’s under influence and looking after my child when I’m working? Or do I pack his stuff and change the lock?
Would really appreciate any advice.

[Serenity]

Hi there,

I think you need to be careful, as the abuse can escalate when you try to leave.

I would try to call the Women’s Aid helpline – or your local branch, if you have one. They could advise you on the steps to take. They may even assign you a support worker.

You could also try ringing the National Centre for Domestic Violence on 0800 970 2070, as they help with occupancy orders and injunctions. They helped me.

Please get all the advice you can before making the break.

X*x

[Author]

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