Hi
I feel exactly the same. If not already, I suggest you block him on all social media etc as that will help you delay any urge to ask.
I understand the pull. You are hoping that after time apart he will realise what he has lost and it will be all roses again. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not true. If it were all roses, he would never have hurt you like this in the first place.
Stay strong. Are there any family or friends you could be with to distract you? Or keep posting on here.