This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  fizzylem 2 weeks, 4 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #99160
     Iwantthistostop 
    Participant

    Hi, I’m looking for support from those who know what it’s like. My ex keeps sending me really long and abusive texts and emails. When we were together he would bully me into saying things just the way he wanted me to say them and tell me he didn’t believe me about so many things that were just my feelings or my opinion. Now we have been apart for (detail removed by moderator) and I moved out (detail removed by moderator) ago, we have children’s things to sort out, but he keeps accusing me of things I simply haven’t done. He argues about everything. I try not to get sucked in and mostly I can resist, but he keeps accusing me of being dishonest about everything, and it’s driving me mad. He used to smoke a lot of w**d – don’t know about now – and would often deny that we’d had conversations about important things. I didn’t know if it was because he’d been smoking or because he was malicious. Now he is so paranoid and aggressive.
    It often ruins my day or my weekend and I have suicidal thoughts. I’m in therapy, but afraid that this will never end unless someone else stops him doing it all the time. I feel so trapped!
    Anyone with some hope or helpful tips? I don’t feel I can do this for another (detail removed by moderator), till my youngest is out of school. And it has such animpact on my relationship with my children.

  • #99166
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Absolutely zero contact is how you stop it. Use a third party for contact and access. Block him or change your number and get a third party to contact him on your behalf. These men never change. It makes him feel good by making you feel upset. You have every right to decide who you allow in your life. Keep all the evidence you can and if he persists then think about a non molestation order or letting the police know. He has absolutely no right to abuse you. Take back control x

  • #99189
     Iwantthistostop 
    Participant

    Thank you!! You have no idea how good it is to read your words. I have become such a self-doubting, timid person around him that even though I have longed to do exactly what you suggest, I have not done so out of guilt, fear of the consequences and possible further recriminations, being taken to court by him for breaching orders etc etc. None of these is real of course, just my projections.
    Do you know of any agencies or third parties that can act as intermediaries or do you suggest someone we know? I don’t imagine anyone wanting to do this, not without being paid, which is fine so long as it isn’t lawyer’s rates!

  • #99572
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Have a look at the Our Family Wizard app x

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