This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  KIP. 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #86864
     Tootsiebrick 
    Participant

    Hi all. I’m new. I lived with my partner for (detail removed by moderator) and my (detail removed by moderator) son also. He started off fine when he lived with us in the house I owned. He was moody now and then but nothing to distressing. We bought a house (detail removed by moderator) but my credit score wasn’t good enough so I didn’t get on the mortgage though I paid half the house deposit. Since moving there, his moods got worse and turned to anger and bullying. My son became depressed as my ex would not allow him to have his x box, his phone, to go out, or to spend time with me. My ex would not allow me to cook for my son either or talk to him on the phone if he called me while we were out at the shops or whatever. He name called my son(detail removed by moderator) to his face all the time. He name called me a s**t, a b***h, a psycho plus many more names too. He stonewalled my son pretty much permanently and stonewalled me for weeks at a time. Sex was a no go of I wanted it. We had seperate food shelves in the cupboard, fridge/freezer etc. He wanted me to pay 2/3 of all the bills and mortgage to cover for my son too. He was never happy for me, even when I got my dream job he toew me down. He withheld money he owed me to the point I had to borrow from a friend to get food for my son and I. He removed the tvs from the house regularly so my son and I could not watch them. He would unplug and throw away the broadband box when I had an assignment due for my masters degree or when I son needed to revise for his exams. He has been arrested and charged twice and only pled guilty the second time to save lawyers fees. He is in a (detail removed by moderator) good behavior order and suspended sentence just now. Within (detail removed by moderator) days of being allowed home the last time, he assaulted my son. I could go on as there was so much including he abused my dogs, threatening suicide with pathetic attempts, but I’d be here all day. We were due to go on holiday but I wanted to go alone however, he came as he knew the details. I ran from him while on holiday in (detail removed by moderator) where he thretened to kill me and he smashed up the room. I’ve had years of trauma with him but that was the final straw. He knew I was leaving which is why he got worse I think. Now, I’m home in my new house with my son and relaxed and happy but weirdly still have feelings for and miss him. My son and I are due to make a statement to our local police and it will be classed as historic as the things he did over the last few months we are only now ready to report as we feel safe in our new house. Through it all, he had an extremely nice and loving but very intense side. My question is, why the hell do I miss him? What is wrong with me? I should say, I am getting great support from woman’s aid now and am reading the Lundy Bancroft book which is helpful.

     

  • #86866
     KIP. 
    Participant

    I’m glad you and your son are safe now and I hope you’re both getting counselling. Have you heard of trauma bonding? Google that and see if it makes sense x

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