Nightmares

[Anonymous]

I’ve been out of the relationship for years now. He has continued to have contact with our children so the abuse still continued. Something has happened that has taken his power and control. It has been nice and peaceful. But there was always a calm before the storm. And I feel like he won’t let us get away. I have been having nightmares all week. Of him breaking into the house, and not being able to help my children. I get terrified in the time it takes to get inside the house from my car. I know a lot of what I feel has to do with the fear he instilled in me. But I also know how dangerous and unpredictable he is.
Does anybody else experience this?

[Darcy]

Hi my beautiful angel … Ocean,
I completely understand your fear… My ex was a very nasty man and I knew that it wasn’t just in my head what he was capable of.
That said I knew I had to step back in my power and get myself strong from the inside, this then helps create barriers and boundaries between you and him. He will feed off your fear so you need to be strong.
Make sure you have all the practical things in place of securing your home and not putting yourself in any vulnerable situations. Let people know your fears and report anything you need to, make yourself accountable, and pull in your support circle.
Regarding the nightmares I would get yourself into a lovely bedtime routine… maybe a meditation before you go to sleep to clear your mind, keep a dream journal … this may bring up some emotions when you write it down but you need to ”feel to heal”
Keeping a journal in general is also a good thing, its a safe space to download your thoughts so your head isn’t full when you go to bed
Sleep tight my darling
Sending you love and support
Darcy xx

[Sleepypigeon]

Hi ocean, I also suffer from nightmares although my ex is more recent.
As darcy has said above:
I have been using sleep meditation before bed, to get me to sleep. Someone suggested it to me,and as it wasn’t really my “thing ” I was a bit sceptical but it has helped in getting me to sleep but last night I still had a nightmare. After speaking to a friend she told me to stop thinking about him, wish it was that simple.
I write a diary every day and have bought a note pad to write specific about my experience with him to get it out.
I am open to any suggestions to get thru this.
Totally understand the fact when kids involved you have to keep seeing the ex which in itself can be traumatic. Be kind to yourself
Sending hugs to u ocean x

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