• This topic has 10 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #101323
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      It’s 4.40am I am awake and watching outside, I do this most nights until its light. I thought I’d gone past this stage but it seems for the last few months I spend more time awake of a night than anything else. Of course there is nothing to see but you hear often enough while you sleep I’m going to…… and sleep is the last thing you want to do until the world wakes up anyway. Anyone else have nervous habits that they do?

    • #101326
      KIP.
      Participant

      I used to feel like you but it has passed. It was dreadful In the beginning. Scared to sleep for the nightmares came but so exhausted I couldn’t think straight. My body exhausted and my mind racing. For me it was routine and patience. Trying to get up and the same time and go to bed at the same time. Doing my mindfulness to dull the anxiety. Exercise when I could to burn the adrenaline. Eating and drinking well and having a good support network. Using the Samaritans and the national domestic abuse helpline when needed and relying heavily on this site in the beginning which got me through some very difficult times. So you’re not alone and these things will pass with good support and counselling and belief in yourself x

    • #101337
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Thanks Kip, I think I took five steps forward and ten backwards at night time. So much better when you can sleep at the same time as everyone else. X

    • #101338
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      It will pass. I’m finding it harder to go to bed, I’m awake up to the wee small hours but still awake at a reasonable time in the morning. Is there an anniversary due or maybe you’ve been triggered at some point recently. Use this time to right down your thoughts, it helped me to fall asleep again. Looking outside is maybe your way of grounding yourself. Seeing how peaceful it is at night.
      I tap my feet a lot more now but realise it’s adrenalin trying to find a way out of my body. If you look at videos of wild animals after they’ve been in a fight their whole body shakes, it’s their way of ridding themselves of that build up of adrenaline whereas we’ve internalised ours.
      We gain a lot of insight into ourselves in the wee hours before the world awakens.
      Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

    • #101342
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Thanks IWMB, I used to sleep so well after he’d left it was nice having normal hours. We’ve had so much more contact and his talk is disturbing so I think that may have triggered the lack of sleep.
      Tried writing, I end up looking at it and thinking did I really write that and where did that come from.
      I hope your sleep pattern settles down soon too x

    • #101350
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Having more contact will do that, it affects me the exact same way.Roll on lockdown being lifted so I can distance myself that little bit more.
      Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

    • #101446
      Manifest
      Participant

      Sleep, I’m at a stage where I almost forget what sleep is… My relationship only very recently ended and still haven ‘t figured out how to get to sleep despite desperately needing somw. But in relation to your question about nervous habits… Please don,t judge, but when my partner used to start an angry tirade of abuse i would start counting the Fibonacci sequence to try to focus my brain away from his actual words, 1+1=2,1+2=3,3+2=5,5+3=8,8+5=13,13+8=21 etc hmmm not sure I explained that, basically adding the last two numbers… Argh again didn’t explain, sorry brain all scrambled. It also used to help me sleep but not working now… Maybe my partner was right, I talk a lot of garbage…

    • #101447
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Manifest, I hear you I’ve had weeks of no sleep but then spoke to women’s aid yesterday and slept for 16hrs unheard of in my world.
      Nervous habits are our way of coping if that works for you there is nothing wrong with it. You definitely do not talk garbage.

    • #101473
      Iwantmeback
      Participant

      Sleep will come ladies,it really will. There’s all this adrenaline in our bodies after we leave. It goes nowhere. I likened it to jetlag, I mean how else can someone be so wide awake when the rest of the world is sleeping.
      Dont lie in bed, get up, read, watch tv,use the time for you, hell go for a bath if it helps. You can do anything you want now, at any time
      IWMB 💞💞

    • #101537
      Manifest
      Participant

      toss, turn, toss turn, toss turn, read, tv, cuppa tea, read, tv, cuppa tea, toilet, read, toss turn, argh it’s still only 6.30 – then argh “mummy is it time to get up!”.. . time on clock 7.15am must have managed to get about 30mins sleep…head a foggy mess of tears and heartache… when I read “you can do anything you want now” first thoughts were YES – I can do anything I Want! Then S**T I can do anything I Want…! S**T! that suddenly scared the heart right out of my chest… i really need to calm down… perhaps the lack of sleep is causing the jitters… perhaps its the injuries… I want sleep

    • #101546
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Manifest have you tried sleep meditation, some nights it works others it dont but if you havent and can focus on it, it really can help. For moments of panic I use grounding. It’s a whole new world for you right now and you will learn to navigate it but it will take time. x

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