No caller ID

[Alicenotichains]

Hi,

Just recently broken away from abuser 2. Have blocked his mobile. My friend (detail removed by moderator) told me that he is not going to turn up at my house due to his parole conditions and not wanting to get into trouble and sent back to jail. I am not sure if she is right but I feel like i believe her so I have been feeling really relaxed but last night I had a No Caller ID on my mobile, one of my kids woke in the night and came into my room and shook me to wake me up. For a split second I thought it was him and my heart was racing. Then I went back to sleep and had a nightmare that he was strangling me. I could feel his hands round my throat.
I have a police marker on my address but it’s the not knowing that is doing my head in. I had a weird premonition which came from nowhere last year that I would be dead by May 2017. My counsellor just thinks that was fear but there is a part of me that feels that something might happen. I am being vigilant- I am not encouraging him I have stopped all contact. X

[Missssy]

Hi Alice,

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. It is understandable given the fact that you had an unexpected no caller ID call in the middle of the night, have you totally changed your number or just blocked him? If you haven’t changed your number, I really think you should. I know it’s annoying having to start again with a new number but if you are sure no one that is connected to him has it, then he is less likely to be able to reach you that way. I too had simply blocked my ex’s number and his relatives numbers, but then I was getting withheld number calls and calls from numbers of relatives that I did not have saved, so it’s like they will always find a way to get around a ‘block’.

I do think that a lot of these men are about self preservation, so your medium friend is probably quite right in saying he won’t push it and try and approach you, but as you already are being, please remain vigilant. Sorry I don’t really have much in the way of helpful advice but I just wanted to show you some support xx

[Lisa]

Hi Alice,

I just wanted to say that if you are feeling afraid it might well be worth you phoning the Helpline and speaking to them about your situation. They can do a risk assesment for you and can help you with some safety planning tips. You are being very strong but sometimes it can actually be a dangerous time when you cut contact as the abuser will start to feel that he is out of control as you are moving on so it is great that you are being extra vigilant. Please try the Helpline, your local Women’s Aid group and even the Police can come to your property to do a safety check.

We are all here for you. Try the Helpline and let us know what they say.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Alicenotichains]

Thank you missy and Lisa. The police have been round and given me some tips- I have a bolt on my gate and they will come if I call 999 as a top priority. I think i am being fairer to him by cutting contact as I am not sending out mixed messages or giving him anything to latch onto but I suppose it could make him feel like he has completely lost control. Social services have made it clear to me and I have explained to him that the relationship cannot continue as it is not in the best interests of the children. So there is nothing to discuss or negotiate. i will keep my guard up and stay vigilant and hopefully this will pass x

[Author]

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