No contact?

[Donax]

So it’s been about (detail removed by moderator), acouple since we ‘split up’ but we’ve been sleeping with eachother the whole time and it’s given them the excuse to sleep with who they want basically and put it in my face. He drinks, always has but hasn’t had a break for years. I’d given up on trying to mend,hope,plead to be treated better, so I just watched him.

He found out someone likes me and since there’s been nothing but ‘salesman’, but that doesn’t mean they’ve been nice, kinda sad he can’t even act it out anymore. He’s supposed to be a ‘friend’ and lives with some of my other friends in the same area so getting out could be tricky. I found he treats me no better, it’s just less time together. I tried to see someone else and they got like that too so it feels like a ‘me’ problem but I shouldn’t have to defend against it in the first place. I know the two year guidelines are for a reason. Feel angry what he’s left me with, already know I have Flash backs, remember lengths I’ve gone to and feel like I’ve got to this point before with his words in my head “who’d want you”.

Sometimes it feels like he can feel me wriggling underneath before I’ve made a move because he’s always back ten fold, but I’m more tired now, the spells worn off. Im trying to respond differently but it’s tough, feels like I am fighting myself as much as him. I think being here is a first good move though. Just need to stay conscious of his behaviour and wondering if no contact should be my only option at a point where he’s had too many chances.

[Fudgecake]

No contact is the only way to truly break the cycle and get away.

[Donax]

Thanks Fudgecake. What worries me is also having to lose other people to do so. I have anxiety and am kind of isolated enough without losing other people. However I can see how it gets messy if they don’t cut ties. Just don’t know.

[Fudgecake]

It’s a big decision to leave and go no contact and there will be losses. But also there will be gains including your freedom to be who you are. Having said that it’s best to have a plan in place. Put savings aside. Find out where you can live when out. Seek advice from WA. Use this time to make plans. And if you’re not ready to go then one day you will be. It took me years to go. I left behind a lot but there is a price to pay it seems whether you stay or go. Only you can make the decision but in the meantime prepare yourself and make plans.

[Author]

Posts