No contact for 4 weeks

[Booboobeedoo]

He responded to my message which I had not read because I blocked him. I read it the other day and his first line w*d “you f#cked up my…” I just deleted it. I couldn’t face him blaming me for leaving. I feel guilty about leaving him and our home and I feel he thinks I didn’t love him enough to tolerate his abuse and blackmailing. I still think about him constantly, I’m dying to message him just to see how is. I worry about him. I know he wants to go back into the armed forces, which apparently he left for me. And he’ll sell the house we worked so hard on. It’s 4 months since I left, and some days I feel great and others I’m still heartbroken. He’s got me so confused that he was someone I adored and was amazing in so many ways, my best friend.. Who completely destroyed my trust in him. Does anyone else feel like they were with 2 different people?!

[Anonymous]

Yes, Booboobeedoo, I feel exactly that my ex was/is two different ppl.

Cruel, isn’t it, that one of them can be your best friend, and the other your worst nightmare!

We tried couples counselling for six months (& it worked beautifully til the darned counsellor stopped playing his game and pushed him too hard to do something kind for me 😉 Bless, so it’s not just me then!)

But I digress …

At our first session I explained that 80-90% of our relationship was great, but 10-20% of it was unbearable due to his abuse.

Those are stats i stand by BUT I have come to realise that a relationship that is any % unbearable due to abuse is 0% great and 100% unbearable.

Im pleased I came to realise that before I was too old to enjoy a joyful life 🙂

Like you I’m worrying about him cos I still care about him and want him to be happy.

What are we doing?

Here’s a thought – shall we make a pact to STOP worrying & caring about our exes and instead spend that time lavishing love and care on OURSELVES?

Please say yes 🙂

Much love to you, B.
Take very good care of you
S xx

[Booboobeedoo]

Hi S, I’m glad I’m not alone. It’s bizarre isn’t it? For us to care about people who could hurt us and smirk at us when we are at our lowest point? Use our weaknesses and fears against us? I have to remind myself of everything he said and the missing him soon subsides!! I’m with you 100%!!! I’m looking after myself, that started the day I left him!!!🙌 ❤

Thank you S, your attitude is inspiring! X*x

[Anonymous]

Aw, thanks B. Take care xx

[Author]

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