No diagnosis yet

[journeyupwards]

I am in the processing phase after leaving my abusive ex partner, and I have to wait a while before I am able to get a diagnosis with a psychiatrist.

Something is very wrong and there are lots of ups and downs, but since I do not yet know what is wrong, and have to avoid the temptation of self-diagnosis. A diagnosis would really help to validate my feelings that I am battling a mental health issue, which I often doubt. Same as how I sometimes doubt whether I’m making up my history of abuse, or whether the abuse was bad at all.

It’s difficult having to power through endless confusion.

[KIP.]

Hi, it helped me to write it all down. Start a journal with all your thoughts and memories and you can go through this when you see a counsellor. A diagnosis isn’t as important and getting good counselling. Someone to talk to who understand what you’re going through. It helped me to read about they dynamics of abuse. Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven. Or anything by Lundy Bancroft or Evan Stark x

[journeyupwards]

Thank you so much for your message and the book recommendations, I will buy one now!

[maddog]

You are so right not to diagnose yourself. When we have endured abuse it does terrible things to our minds. It is a really good idea to write things down. In the very early days I used to write down all sorts of things and sometimes just hand them over. I hope your gp is helpful.

Abuse is very traumatic and we do whatever we can to survive. I was given a multitude of pills by my gp to help me through.

There is lots of stuff on youtube about recovering from abuse.

The big problem with psychiatric diagnoses is that you could probably diagnose yourself with pretty much anything you like. It is normal to wonder about the history of abuse and question the reality. It’s a big pill to swallow and sometimes hard to believe that another person can behave in such a way.

I hope you are being supported by Women’s Aid and you may find Victim Support helpful. It’s a bit of a minefield getting the right help but with the right people to guide you it should become less frightening.

[journeyupwards]

Thank you so much for your encouraging message maddog, it’s really nice to speak to people who fully understand my situation whilst I am waiting upon more professional help. I will continue to write down my experience and will check out some helpful videos.

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