No further action they say

[Surviving]

So all that reporting him for rape and sexual assault. Going through the whole interview. They send me a letter saying (detail removed by moderator). It was the police that told me before I left him it was rape and sexual abuse as I didn’t see it myself. So why didn’t they take further action when it was happening and encourage me to do it there and then. He gets away with everything because he is too b****y clever.

[Iwantmeback]

Might not be any further action but his actions will come back to haunt him one way or another. Do you think puruing this further maybe getting anither opinion would help. Mind you if he goes on to do this to anyone else, what you’ve logged will help with any future prosecutions I’d think. Try not to let this eat you up, cos that way he wins. The best thing you can do is go on to have an amazing life. I’m looking at therapy just now, just to get my head around this relationship and help keep me strong.
Best wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Surviving]

Thank you. I can’t move on yet as we at still fighting over custody of the youngest. He don’t have the other 2 as he admitted to physically and mentally abusing them. But he was still aloud the youngest but she says he hurts her and Once she had a huge bruise but social services didn’t take it serious and Once I saw him hurt her myself. So I know she isn’t lying (court detail removed by moderator). But he gets away with everything so I’m not confident with what the outcome will be . He admitted to (detail removed by moderator)

[maddog]

No Further Action seems like a blow. The fact is that you have been listened to by the police and your ex is on record for rape and sexual assault. If anyone else should come forward he is likely to be charged. It is far better from your position for him to be NFA’d than it is to go through the criminal courts with you as the only witness when it is unlikely you are alone. The same thing happened with my ex and I know very well that he has raped and sexually assaulted other women.

Perpetrators lie through their teeth. I hope the police were kind to you and explained the situation in a satisfactory way. Sometimes they don’t.

[fizzylem]

See if you can get him under controlling and coercive behaviour – when you feel able. Use the rape to show this is part of a pattern in his dominating behaviour – and show other instances where this has also happened with evidence; which could be your diary among other things, GP record, WA call notes, texts, emails from him etc. this can now include your attempt to report the rape.

There is not enough evidence for the rape alone but when it is viewed as part of a pattern then he could be charged – for any controlling and coercive behaviour that occurred after the 29/12/2015 – he wont get done for any offences committed before this time BUT, you can still include these in the patterns to show the historical nature and these will be considered as part of it.

Google ‘controlling, coercive behaviour crime prosecution’ for this page and have a read.

Its a lot to take on while dealing with child arrangements; I’m dealing with one thing at a time as well and I’m sorting my child’s needs out first like you are. He does not need to have been charged for family court to consider the controlling and coersive behaviour; they can take this into account.

The fact you have been to the police to try and report this alone stands you in good stead in family court and the CAFCASS process. CAFCASS will ask you if there has been any police involvement and you can tell them this and that you plan to see whether this could help now by including the rape in the pattern of his controlling and coercive behaviour which you are now considering could be an option after this process has completed. That you need to gather your evidence first.

Read also my post on the human rights act.

Nurse yourself but don’t give up until you and your children have a life free from abuse x*x

[Author]

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